New 419 fun, Part Three

This is Part Three, please go down two entries and start with Part One, then read Part Two...

So, I can't resist, and I send Joel a note:

Joel, After I got back I just happened to log on to the bank and noticed that you made a withdrawal for $6500. Is this to cover the expenses on the Birkenau Arms evictions?

Erik

And Joel is a master, so he picks it up, sends a copy to Lisa with:

Lisa:

Crap! I just got this e-mail from my meddling brother-in-law (I'll just call him Erik).
What should I do?

Joel

And Lisa says:

Joel. Tell him is for expenses you incured,from one of the properties just tell him something he should not be involved in our transaction,so desar joel find an excuse and say ok.Money was used to repair or pay someone ok,just do the payment by western union and we are done,and we get the funds transferred and take everyone by surprize.

Regards

And, to throw gasoline on the fire, I tell Joel this:

Joel,

I hate to give you the bad news, but I just got off the phone with Attorney Ingersoll, and he says that the Birkenau Arms eviction is going to cost us, when it is all done, about $13,000. Now, you have that $6500, but we only have an additional $4000 in the account. We will need to come up with the rest right away, or we are going to be stuck in the middle of proceedings without enough funds to cover everything.

Now, I can put more money in, but that will increase my equity percentage, which will, of course, come out of your future earnings. I know you have the expenses of the new wife (boy, you are catching up with me in that department), but can you pony up any of it by next Monday? I suppose we can talk to the Deseret group, but then we end up having to pay them interest, so it would be best if you could just put the cash in.

Again, by Monday we need a total of $13,000. We have $4,000 in the account, and you have $6,500, totalling $10,500. So, one of us should put in $2,500, and it should really be you.

If we don't evict these two biddies, they will still be in the place when they turn 67 1/2 next month, and that will give them legal shielding. Just think, if we get them out, we can raise the rent on both apartments and start with a higher base. Really, $2,500 is nothing when you consider what it gets you. In fact $13,000 to concoct evidence, line up the associates to help convince them that moving is good for them, and the lawyer, is a bargain. We can each get $500 extra per month per unit on these, so it should not take a rocket scientist to see when the payoff is.

I know you are weeping over their situation, but the only reason that they are not well-off is that they chose not to work hard enough in their life, or to marry the right husband. Besides, neither are Mormons, and one is even a Catholic. Maybe when they are evicted they will see the wisdom of the Book of Mormon and the help that can be offered. Then we could put them up in an apartment, and the Church will be paying the difference between market value and their rent, so we can charge whatever we feel like.

Think about it Joel. Pray on it.

Erik

Meanwhile, before Joel forwards my email, he gets this:

Joel. just say for expenses and cover it up just make the transfer these morning so we get funds immediately,lets stop the delay,i awaitto hear from you for the payment details.
Lisa

And that is immediately followed by:

Joel. I await to hear from you regarding the western union,whats the problem,make it done immediately joel,so we finalize why all these delays.

So, Joel says, at the same time forwarding my latest letter:

Lisa:

Here's another letter from Erik. Of course he checked our account, and now I'm up shit creek. There's no chance that you'll be able to get money back to me by Monday if I wired it Saturday, is there?

Otherwise, I'll just have to reveal the deal to him and give the pious bastard a cut of our profit.

Joel

And here is where we stand today. I will keep you posted as things come up.

The Latest 419 Fun!

My friend has been handling this one, so I have not been posting it, but I have jumped on board, so let me get you up to speed...

Typical deal. Lots of money. No one to claim it. Blah blah blah. Joel (my friend) leads them on, telling them that he is a polygamous Mormon fundamentalist. Tries to engage them in a discussion on the Book of Mormon, assuring them that "even you Africans are people now, too" and asking completely asinine questions about Africa.

So, Lisa, the alleged contact, keeps on, and gets to the point where she needs $6,500 wired to her. Joel stays goofy, and explains all these ways he can get the money. As soon as the 419er sniffs a buck, you can tell all reason goes out the window, and the writing style crumbles (this always happens. A very exitable lot these 419ers).

Anyway, Joel has been on the verge of sending the money for a couple of weeks, and Lisa is getting positively frantic.

So, dear reader, let's pick up with Joel to Lisa:

Lisa:

Some land agents I know said that they could get the cash for us if we cut
them in on the deal. Should I have them send you a personal check, or what?
I don't want them to send cash. What if the envelope tore and all of the
cash came out?! The post office probably wouldn't deliver it. I imagine that
the African postal workers are shifty and dishonest, but I could be wrong.
Even American postal workers would probably postpone their plans on coming
in to work with a gun if they saw cash spilling out of an envelope. No sir,
cash in the mail is a very bad idea.

Do you have zebras where you live?

Joel

AND Lisa to Joel:

The funds could be sent by western union money transfer,or
money gram these is the fastest way to send money world wideso it is easy
for us,the land agents want big share of the money how do we do that,how
much do the need just borrow the money from them,and say you pay back in
1week time,so we get these money all for us,so now try and get the funds and
send it through western union money transfer so we could finalize the
transaction by these new week and no that we are done and we share the funds
50/50,so my dear joel make your possible best to send the money before
tuesday by western union.

One Artists. Seven Days. Four Paintings!

I have been super productive in the studio (and seeing art as well as reading). The shorted side of my activity? You guessed it!

Thank you if you have commented. I will get to the comments soon and will approve them (remember they dont appear until I pass them). Lots of spam, so I need a good 45 minutes to sift and sort and read. Don't give up. I will try to get them done ASAP.

Meanwhile I have been ignoring my 419 scammer. My friend Joel has sort of taken up where I left off, creating some interesting twists to Ernie. For instance, Ernie has a mistress who lives in New Orleans!

Pretty soon Ernie will come back into the picture with a whole new spin on things. Let's first see what Joel comes up with. He is quite good at 419-baiting.

So, I do not want to lose any of the letters from this exchance, so I will post them as they came in, unanswered for the most part. Since I have to meet with a client, have some house work, and a dinner party tonight, I am not going to go back and figure out what I already posted, so there might be some overlap. I just don't want to get too far behind:

Hi ernie is very good to hear from you that you are back from the hospital that everything is ok now,dont bother about going to the south africa embassy you can just get a ticket directly to johannesburg airport,you do not need a visa from the inquiry imade what is joel considering he does not want you to come or what,i will like to meet you soon or does he just that the we pay the manager by a wire transfer ,so we can have on on file the documents immediately so try and come or that means we have to give the manager the money by a wire transfer so which one is better ernie lets do something because he asked me yesterday in the office i have had from you i said know so what do we do ernie we lost 6days in touch now,lets make a move ok.

LISA

Hello ernie whats happening today am out of the office but just came back expecting your email but know news from you,you now delay in replying my email why why.

LISA

Hello tell me was the problem you do not reply my emails again today i expected to get an email from you but know news,keep me informed.

(no signature)

Hello ernie know email from you what is really the problem can you tell me i wrote Joel know reply and you know reply now i gave the manager your number because he is in london for a meeting he called the number you gave me it was a toll- free number he told me what is the situation.

(no signature) NB: the toll free number was to one of the neo-puritan anti-smoking propoganda lines from the State of California.

So Lisa emails Joel, since Ernie is AWOL:

> Hello Joel how are you doing whats wrong with ernie he has not been replying
> my emails,tell him thye manager will soon be leaving for london if he wants he
> can meet him there,that he should email me immediately.

And Joel responds:

Lisa:

I'm sorry for the delay, but I was attending a business meeting in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho this week.

Ernie has been hard to catch lately, but I'll see if we can't talk him into meeting with your representative in London. Please make sure that he is well accommodated. He's a fussy little man, and you'll hear no end of complaints if he is not treated to first class treatment.

Joel

And from Lisa:

>
> Hello joel how are you doing it was quite a long time have you contacted Ernie
> when is he going to london so the manager will arrange for his picking up at
> the airport inform me immediately we are really delaying so get in touch with
> ernie immediately and know the date he is coming.
>

Lisa:

I'll contact Ernie tomorrow (today is a national holiday). He may be busy with his real estate investments down in New Orleans, but I'll try to get a hold of him in any case.

Joel

And from Lisa:

> how you doing hope you are alright what is the outcome with your discussion
> with ernie when is he coming to london why do you delay in replying emails
> even the informations i asked of you i did not get whats wrong we are delaying
> whats the news.

And Joel responds:

Lisa:

I've been out of town for days.

Please allow me time to decipher your cryptic e-mail. Is it some sort of code?

Joel

And Lisa deciphers:

> Whats the news from ernie is he coming or not let me know the manager is still
> awaiting his arrival.
>

And Joel shows his touch for this business once again:

Lisa:

I apologize for appearing to be untidy, however, my company has been forcing me to travel into southern Oregon to clean up a mess there. Heads will roll, I assure you.

Ernie has not been heard from. He went down to New Orleans to check up on his investment properties and has not answered my inquiries since. I hope that he is okay. There are not many hotel rooms available down there, so I haven't the foggiest notion where he's staying.

I just went to a working-class grocery store this morning and I was
horrified by the ugly, green tattoos which were proudly displayed by nearly everyone. The pendulous, bare midriffs were not a comfort either. Ugh! I hope that your African compatriots are showing more class in public than our own filthy-minded hordes.

If Ernie does not follow through with your bit of business, I suppose that I'll have to do it myself, but it will be difficult to fit it into my present schedule.

Joel

Sometimes Joel ignores her, too:

> Hello Joel why do you not respond often i sent you an email so you send me
> some requirements but i have not heard from you so keep me informed and stop
> the delay.

And, seizing on current events, and developing his character a bit, Joel delves into the macabre a bit:

Lisa:

I've been working out of town and I have limited access to computers. I'm working in rural, southern Oregon, where people are more interested in fishing than in broadband internet access. Fools -- all of them.

We are in a huge national crisis, in case you hadn't noticed. Ernie is down in New Orleans surveying his losses and arguing with Federal officials over the nasty, little details, such as who will repair and replace the infrastructure in and around his devastated investments, and who must pay for the removal and burial of the unidentified dead inside the houses and apartments. Ugh! Poor bastard!

He's going to need that money you've promised, so get cracking on your end!

Joel

When 419ers get worried, their grammar deteriorates:

> Hello Joel i thoyght you wanted to fix in the business so whats th eproblem
> did you speak with any on phone the manager needs your mobile and house number
> to communicate to you it will be faster i guess i asked you to send me your
> biodata why do you delay.So are u serious to do the business keep me informed
> immediately.
>

Lisa:

I appreciate the offer very much. I'd very much like to "complete" this deal, however, it was Ernie's deal in the first place, and I need to give him the opportunity to complete the transaction. He's really going to need the money when he figures out how much he's lost down in Louisiana.

Joel

You have to give Lisa credit. She sticks to it:

> Hello Joel ernie is not coming up with any news thats why i want you to do the
> business we are running out of time because of ernie has stopped replying for
> a long while.
>
And from Joel:

Lisa:

I'll check into Ernie's status while I'm home for the next two days.

Joel

Panic!

> JOEL i had what you said please check ernies status immediately so you can fit
> in we are on delay to get those funds ok.

And Joel develops Ernie's, uh, character a bit:

Lisa:

Ernie's still out of town and his wife doesn't like me (she considers me to be a bad influence -- can you believe that?), but I was able to talk to his mistress (a tattooed, tongue-pierced, money-grasping, white-trash, shopping machine if you ask me -- way below his standards). She assured me that cellular phone service in New Orleans would be restored within 48 hours. She sounded like she was drunk, but she was adamant.

Unfortunately, I'll be on the road again on Monday and I don't know if Ernie will be available before that. I understand that this deal with you is worth millions, but dammit! I can't be expected to pay roaming charges on my cell phone chatting with Ernie unless you can assure me that I'll be reimbursed! What provisions have you made for reimbursements? These expenses add up! Ernie is unlikely to offer to pay my cell phone bill, so can you take care of it?

Joel

Formula 419 (part 7)

I used to do these 419 baitings with a friend, so I instinctively cc:ed him on these, but I wasn't sure if he was in on this one or not, so I stopped cc:ing him. Anyway, part of the fun of playing with 419ers is to abruptly stop, sending them into panic mode.

Unfortunately I did not let Joel know about this, so when Lisa emailed him, he responded, thus blowing my plan. Oh well, 419-baiting is an improvisational art, and this makes for a new twist. So, the first thing that Lisa sent, in a timely fashion was:

Hello ernie it was nice to read your email today,we cant offer the manager 500USD we have to offer him something big to make in sign for us we have enough funds so paying him so thousands would not be a problem to stop our business, so now we have to offer him some good thousands so he forgets about it and signs off and then we move so you can see that paying him some thousands wont affect us we have alot of funds to clear you know so lets pay him very well ok,for your visa you have to go to the SOUTH AFRICA EMBASSY in AMERICA and apply for a visa,now the problem is that the visa might take a little time to process but if you are going to the embassy you have to tell them you are going for holidays,so the wont suspect so take your time and see what we are going to do if the embassy will waste much time that means while you wait for the visa we then do a wire transfer for the manager so he can sign immediately so you have the tender documents sent to you but i hope the visa wont take time but the process might be long so think if a wire transfer is better first we do to the manager and you now wait for the visa,so you now have to decide how many thousands we have to offer him,and my country is not near suda so no need at all for a gun ok so the need now is a visa ok.

LISA

I ignored this, so I got the following, entitled WHAT IS THE STATUS (a favorite phrase of 419ers):

Hello ernie how are you today we are on weekend today ,how has it been with the visa what is the status you have not sent an email for sometime so i want to know what is the situation of things now so keep me informed ok.
LISA

Continuing to ignore her, she went into panic mode and wrote to Joel:

Joel Mielke,how are you doing please i have not heard from ernie since please forward me your contacts,ernie is meant to be in south africa this week but i have not heard from him what is wrong can you inform me on situation of things right now and send me your contacts immediately i expect that ernie will arrive but know news from him keep me updated.
LISA

To which he replied:

Lisa:

Thank you for the information. I'm sorry that I was out of the loop for a while.

Ernie is headed for South Africa?! What, is he nuts?!!! What's going on?

I'll try to get in touch with his family to see what's happening.

Joel

So, then we get to the email that Lisa sent to me before writing Joel, and my latest response (in the extended entry section):

hello ernie what is the problem know news from ou is all well,you have not sent your assistants resume what is delaying you.

Lisa, I am sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you. I was in the hospital these last few days, with some heart problems. Everything seems to be OK. I gather that you got in touch with Joel, and that is good, except he doesn't think that I should go to South Africa. He is well intentioned, but I think that he has some personal issues with South Africa, as that is where he is from. It is funny, he always has told me how pleasant a place it used to be, but I don't think he really knows if things are different or not, since he has not been back since he left in the 1990's. Anyway, I will be in touch with the South African embassy and will let you know what the status is. I am eager to meet you in person to carry out this good work.

Ernie

Holy 419 (Part 6)

Well, it is good to know that 419ers can have perfectly tidious days. Sometimes I feel that way myself. If you think Ernie is a pain, just wait until you meet his assistant Jaap Van Roojen (who, unlike Ernie, is very familiar with South Africa, or should I say Sud Afrika). But beware: what Lisa doesn't know (and neither does Ernie) is that poor Ernie has a nasty heart condition. He might not make it through Labor Day. It depends. He might suddenly get interesting, which means that I let him live. It all depends. As usual, my response is in the Extended Entry section! Read on:

Hello ernie how are you i t was ouiet a tidious day,the manager was out for a meeting so i had some work to do,in your email you said about giving the manager 50$ thats would be an insult to him,as the bank manager he earns about 25,000USD apart from allowances,so now what do you think we give him,so he approves he is to sign off the funds ok,and now you have to land in johanesburg international airport thats the correct airport ok,so dont bother about bring a gun ok,is not necessary we have to make the manager sign ok,so what can we really offer him he came back very late to the office i told him you will be coming he said ok thats good so now we have to make out an amount to give him ok so i can talk to him ok,so ernie whats your aim lets decide and tell me if the have given you visa ok.Keep me informed immediately.
LISA

Lisa,

Wow! $25,000! I had no idea that anyone in Africa made that sort of money. I figured a well to do person probably made around $100 a week or so, nothing at all like $25,000. What does this man spend this kind of money on? Are there any real stores in Africa? Any Wal*Marts? Anyway, obviously we will need to offer him more money, probably as much as $500, although I urge you to please not be overly generous, for the man's own sake. One time I knew a man who came into a lot of money and did he invest it or use it for anything good? No. He used it all on gambling horses and whiskey. He is back to being a poor man, and all the good the money did was turn him into a drunk. Obviously there is something a little off about this manager, since he will be wanting a bribe, so we should not lead him too far down any path that might cause him to stumble and become a rummy or a womanizer or even a sodomite, because rum can lead to drugs and that could make him turn to a life of terrible disrepute and I would be ashamed and dismayed if that were to happen. So, let me know if $500 is good, because if it isn't, I suppose we can go higher, even to the thousands of dollars if we really have to, but I don't want to waste any money that does not need to be wasted. Of course I expect to be paid back from the fund for this and any expenses, which I am assuming you are OK with. Now about my trip, I am a little nervous about flying to Africa, because I have read all about Africa in the newspapers and how there are wars and diseases. Your town is not close to Sudan is it? I keep reading about Sudan and it sounds terrible. If you are close to Sudan I think I might insist on bringing a gun, although if your insurances are that it is not necessary, I think you are a trustworthy and riputable sort. Anyway I would love to see your country after we get the business taken care of, so please tell me what I should see afterward. You mention a visa, do I get that from the United Nations or from your government? Where do I go to get a visa or can I do it by mail (assuming that you have mail there in Africa)? Should I get my visa first before getting my airline ticket to Johanesberg International Airport. I also have to give you my assistant's information. He will not be joining me, as he has urgent work to do in the United States, but that will be fine, since this way if we decide we need to pay more money to the manager, he can wire it to me. But I think you wanted his information, so I will ask him to send it. I forgot to tell him to send it earlier. Sorry.

Keep me posted. Thank you,

Ernie

Holy 419 (Part Four) or Where the Victim Sets His Lure To Get the Scammers Really Drooling

As usual, my response is in the extended entry. Here is where they make the initial pitch to get us into kidnapping territory, or at least to the point where we are sending them money to avoid having to go over there. This is where it is important to set the lure. Right now they are drooling over the prospect that an American imbecile is going to show up on their door waving a wad of cash. Next step: Ernie realizes that Africa might be dangerous, asks for reassurances, and hijinks ensue. Meanwhile, here is today's exciting episode:

Hello Ernie,
it was very good to see your email but it was weekend,so today in the banking premises i discussed with the bank manager,and showed him the email you sent for his approval he asked me if you were going come to our bank to sign the documents of release,so now after the discussion with him i told him personally to approve the release so we get clearance from the legal department,which he has agreed to do but he wants you to come to our office do you want to come how do we do it,so we get this funds out of the bank and now everything is moving on very well,so what do you suggest about coming or meeting the bank manager how do we do it this is the only thing remaining i have taken care of all other things understand we know what to do to the manager or do we have to offer him something because he thinks that it is really you that it was deposited on your behalf so what do we do to him his signature is needed but we dont have to involve him in the funds,because he know is funds for the poor,but we offer him something so he signs, ok i need your decision.
REGARDS
LISA

Lisa,

Thank you for getting back to me. I am not exactly sure of the proper modalities at this point in the venture. Do I need to come to where you are in Africa or will we meet here in the United States? I could come to Africa, but I will need to know which airport and will need to make some arrangements with my work, so I can take the time off (how much should I put on my requestal form? Is a week enough time?). If you are going to come here, then Oakland is the right airport. You will want to let me know when, so I can pick you up at the airport, because Oakland is a rough city with certain elements, including a viscious gang that wears black and silver, rides motorcycles, drinks copious beer and gets into fights. You don't want to mess with them. They call themselves the Black Hole, and even wear portraits of bandits on their jackets. As for the manager, while I suppose that the proper thing is to keep everything on the fair and square, up and up and so forth, we may find it more efficient for our cause of helping the poor if we simply offer him a token from the fund, or perhaps if he is impatient, I can bring some money with me if I have to go to Africa, and then can take reimbursements from the fund when it is all cleared. Please advise me as to the proper modality. Thank you for your responses.

Ernie

Holy 419 (Part Three) or Not-So Great Expectations

This is getting better and better. The phone number, in case you are wondering, is for a noxious state agency that should not exist. They should have a lot of fun telling this 419 operator all about the hazards of smoking. As usual, my reply is in the extended entry section. Have fun:

Ernie,
what do you suggest you want the deal to be between the 3 of us,if you trust the other partner good,now you have to send me your details so i can start filing papers for the release of the funds,you have to send me the name of the other partner too with his phone contacts and yours too with residential addresses,occupation,so i can start filling up papers immediately i understand what you mean in your email so now lets lie low and do a neat job do you understand it and let it be between the three of us and the banks accountant who will sign too,so now furnish me contacts and address so we start filling up for release of these funds.

REGARDS
LISA

Lisa,

I am so glad to be in receipt of this your most recent email. Since we see eye to eye it is great that we are so much in agreement, and should be able to attain much good in these transaction. I have as my understanding to give you all of both my and mine's addresses, phone numbers and the like, which I am eager to do as to get this moving faster and faster.

Here is my information:

Ernie Keilmanns Holtzenpfeffer

Mailing Address: PO Box 28962
Oakland, CA 94604

Residential Address: 69 Schickelgruber Lane
Oakland, CA 94611

My job title is Campaign Manager
My work phone works best, which is 888.662.8887

My assistant has been instructed to send you this information independently.

I look forward to continuing our mutually productive and beneficial endeavors.

-Ernie

Holy 419, PART TWO!

Lisa replied! Now I typically start writing more like the 419er, as if it is a mad race to total style collapse. My esteemed colleagues and I have determined that mode of language discourses should be as pompous as it is inept, indubitably! My own reply is in the extended entry section.

ERNIE,
How are you? it was great to read your email dated 8-8-2005,i thank you very much for your concern to help make use of this funds as it meant to be used,now when this money was deposited in my bank,it was done for the needy to help them by the late pope of vatican,so now we cant contact the vatican secret service for this it is meant to be a task you have to bear in your mind because i will make you the beneficiary of this funds so you can now know exactly what you do with it becasue the money must be spent wisely for the work it was deposited for,now i will advise you to think on what to do in this case,but you might involve someone who is not honest thats the problem ,left for me i will like you to do it alone because it is the funds for the poor,so now decide if you can handle it yourself .So if all is ok with you my bank will take appropriate procedure to make it a suceess.
Lisa.

Lisa,

Thank you for your quick and timely response to my email. I am most overjoyed that you found me, as I am convinced that this money could easily have fallen into hands that were not so honest if otherwise. Your judgement and discernment strike me as most excellent and prudential. While I think you might be right in not contacting the Vatican Secret Service, since we don't know if it has been infiltrated by corrupt men (for instance it is not always well known that the Swiss have a reputation for holding corrupt and secret banks, and I believe the Vatican Secret Service has many Swiss in it) or not, because maybe they really are good, but we just don't know. I would hate to see this money just go to line some pockets in Geneva. But how can we know? WE cannot read men's hearts. We have to procede with due caution and significance. Slowly and carefully at all times. So, you are to be commended for your wariness here. We have a phrase in America called due dilligence, and I think due dilligence ought to be your middle name. IT is a good and honorable trait this due dilligence, and I hope that you persevere in it. Which brings us back to this transaction to use the late Pope of the Vatican's money for charitable purposes he intended. I will work alone, except that I have an assistant who helps me with everything. I trust him like a son, and I entreat you to trust him as such as well. Perhaps sometime when this is all done, we can meet in person, all three of us and can celebrate our actions in this. I like to think that sometimes heroes come from the ranks of ordinary men and that even we can be heroes even with using some of the money, although not all of it, as that is for the poor and needy.

-Ernie

Holy 419 Scheme, Batman!

Wow! The 419 scheme goes Catholic! Oh those niche marketers. My response is in the extended entry. If any of the Vatican's Secret Agents are reading this and would like to get in on the fun, let me know...

ATTENTION,
I sincerely write to seek your co-operation and trust to enable me carry out an urgent business Opportunity in my department. I work with the OCEANIC BANK PLC, currently I am n charge of bills and exchange at the foreign remittance department of my bank. I was the account officer to Pope John Paul 2 who died on 2 April 2005.
He left in his domiciliary account the total sum of $25,000,000(twenty five million dollars) which he left for the needy and also for the helping of some churches and also feeding of the poor. But unfortunately we have not seen any body to claim the money. Rev.fr.james blank is the only person who knows about this apart from the bank. The management of the bank have planned to embezzle the money since there is no one to claim the money. On this note, I now decided to give you the money so that you can give it to the needy. I will soon proceed for my
retirement leave, and I personally do not want this fund to be lost to the bank. That is why I wanted the fund to be move out of the bank before I proceed on my retirement from the banking services. I have decided that you take all the money and deliver it to the needy and some to churches, am a very good Christian and will not watch the bank embezzle the money belonging to the needy, it is not a good idea and I can't involve my self in that kind of evil plan. To enable the immediate transfer of the fund into your nominated account, you would have to fill the bank application form for such claim as the next of kin to the deceased. There you will designate your bank account where the money will be remitted. Upon receipt of your mail indicating your interest, I will send to you a copy of the application form and the Account/ Deceased information you would need to fill it. Send your direct Fax and telephone numbers for effective communication that this transaction needs. And also if you help you will get 20% of the money as your reward to your good work.

Please note that you may appear in person if you like, as every thing regarding this project will be strictly handled by a lawyer and every banking documents needed for this transaction will be taken care of by lawyer. Please try and see that the money lives the bank.

Yours Faithfully,
Ms, Lisa LILY
assistant manager
oceanic bank plc,
located at 12 nelson's street cape town.

Dear Lisa,

The idea of this money falling into the evil scheme that you describe leaves me heartbroken. I think that the best course of action would to be to contact the Vatican Secret Service, rather than try to go through the rather complex plan you have mentioned here.

Please let me know your thoughts on this. I have only forwarded this letter to a friend of mine, who, if I were to follow the plan you outlined, would be assisting me. I have not contacted anyone else until I hear back from you.

Thank you,

Ernie

More Fun Lottery Fraud

Not that interesting, I just post it so that potential victims who Google it find this and can be assured that it is, indeed, a fraud. Sorry to dash your hopes, but better that than you sending your hard earned money to some Nigerian scam operator:

ELGORDO LOTERIA PRIMITIVA INTERNATIONAL
www.loteria.com
CALLE AVENIDA DE ALFONSO,
MADRID 20058,
SPAIN.

FROM: THE DESK OF THE DIRECTOR PROMOTIONS,
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT,
REF: GUPL/76-A18FYU125
19/05/05.

ATTENTION WINNER,
NOTIFICATION; FINAL WINNING NOTIFICATION

We are pleased to inform you of the announcement
of the winners of the LOTERIA PRIMITIVA
INTERNATIONAL held on 12-03-05. Your email address attached
to ticket number 4589, with serial number A025-09 drew the
lucky numbers 6-10-12-27-33-45, and consequently
won in category 6.You have therefore been approved for a
lump sum pay of Euro302,803.00 in cash credited to file REF
NGUPL/76-A18FYU125.This is from total prize money of
Euro908,401.00 shared among the international winners
in the category 6. All participants were selected through a
computer ballot system drawn from more than 100,000
companies/individuals from Middle East,Australia, New
Zealand,America,Asia, Europe and North America as part of
our International Promotions Program, which is conducted
annually.

CONGRATULATIONS! Your fund is now deposited and insured in
your email address.Due to the mix up of some numbers and
names,we ask that you keep this award strictly from public
notice until your claim has been processed and your money
remitted to your account. This is part of our security
protocol to avoid double claiming or unscrupulous acts by
participants of this program.

We hope with a part of your prize, you will participate in
our end of year high stakes Euro25million International
lotto.To begin your claim, please contact your claim agent
immediately:

MR. JAMES PACKER
CLAIM MANAGER,
STANDARD TRUST SECURITY COMPANY
EMAIL:eslgordoclaimage@netscape.net

For due processing and remittance of your prize money to
designated account of your choice. Remember, you must
contact yourclaims agent not later than 25th of May.After
this date, all funds will be returned as unclaimed.

NOTE: In order to avoid unnecessary delays and
complications,please remember to quote your reference
number in every one of your correspondences with your
agent. Furthermore, should there be any change of your
address, do inform your claims agent as soon as possible.

Congratulations again from all our staff and thank you for
being part of our program.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Sandra Fernadez,
THE DIRECTOR OF PROMOTIONS.
(ELGORDO LOTERIA PRIMITIVA INTERNATIONAL).

N.B. Any breach of confidentiality on the part of the
Winners will result to disqualification. contact your
claims agent immediately through the above e-mail address.