New 419 fun, Part Three

This is Part Three, please go down two entries and start with Part One, then read Part Two...

So, I can't resist, and I send Joel a note:

Joel, After I got back I just happened to log on to the bank and noticed that you made a withdrawal for $6500. Is this to cover the expenses on the Birkenau Arms evictions?

Erik

And Joel is a master, so he picks it up, sends a copy to Lisa with:

Lisa:

Crap! I just got this e-mail from my meddling brother-in-law (I'll just call him Erik).
What should I do?

Joel

And Lisa says:

Joel. Tell him is for expenses you incured,from one of the properties just tell him something he should not be involved in our transaction,so desar joel find an excuse and say ok.Money was used to repair or pay someone ok,just do the payment by western union and we are done,and we get the funds transferred and take everyone by surprize.

Regards

And, to throw gasoline on the fire, I tell Joel this:

Joel,

I hate to give you the bad news, but I just got off the phone with Attorney Ingersoll, and he says that the Birkenau Arms eviction is going to cost us, when it is all done, about $13,000. Now, you have that $6500, but we only have an additional $4000 in the account. We will need to come up with the rest right away, or we are going to be stuck in the middle of proceedings without enough funds to cover everything.

Now, I can put more money in, but that will increase my equity percentage, which will, of course, come out of your future earnings. I know you have the expenses of the new wife (boy, you are catching up with me in that department), but can you pony up any of it by next Monday? I suppose we can talk to the Deseret group, but then we end up having to pay them interest, so it would be best if you could just put the cash in.

Again, by Monday we need a total of $13,000. We have $4,000 in the account, and you have $6,500, totalling $10,500. So, one of us should put in $2,500, and it should really be you.

If we don't evict these two biddies, they will still be in the place when they turn 67 1/2 next month, and that will give them legal shielding. Just think, if we get them out, we can raise the rent on both apartments and start with a higher base. Really, $2,500 is nothing when you consider what it gets you. In fact $13,000 to concoct evidence, line up the associates to help convince them that moving is good for them, and the lawyer, is a bargain. We can each get $500 extra per month per unit on these, so it should not take a rocket scientist to see when the payoff is.

I know you are weeping over their situation, but the only reason that they are not well-off is that they chose not to work hard enough in their life, or to marry the right husband. Besides, neither are Mormons, and one is even a Catholic. Maybe when they are evicted they will see the wisdom of the Book of Mormon and the help that can be offered. Then we could put them up in an apartment, and the Church will be paying the difference between market value and their rent, so we can charge whatever we feel like.

Think about it Joel. Pray on it.

Erik

Meanwhile, before Joel forwards my email, he gets this:

Joel. just say for expenses and cover it up just make the transfer these morning so we get funds immediately,lets stop the delay,i awaitto hear from you for the payment details.
Lisa

And that is immediately followed by:

Joel. I await to hear from you regarding the western union,whats the problem,make it done immediately joel,so we finalize why all these delays.

So, Joel says, at the same time forwarding my latest letter:

Lisa:

Here's another letter from Erik. Of course he checked our account, and now I'm up shit creek. There's no chance that you'll be able to get money back to me by Monday if I wired it Saturday, is there?

Otherwise, I'll just have to reveal the deal to him and give the pious bastard a cut of our profit.

Joel

And here is where we stand today. I will keep you posted as things come up.

The Latest 419 Fun!

My friend has been handling this one, so I have not been posting it, but I have jumped on board, so let me get you up to speed...

Typical deal. Lots of money. No one to claim it. Blah blah blah. Joel (my friend) leads them on, telling them that he is a polygamous Mormon fundamentalist. Tries to engage them in a discussion on the Book of Mormon, assuring them that "even you Africans are people now, too" and asking completely asinine questions about Africa.

So, Lisa, the alleged contact, keeps on, and gets to the point where she needs $6,500 wired to her. Joel stays goofy, and explains all these ways he can get the money. As soon as the 419er sniffs a buck, you can tell all reason goes out the window, and the writing style crumbles (this always happens. A very exitable lot these 419ers).

Anyway, Joel has been on the verge of sending the money for a couple of weeks, and Lisa is getting positively frantic.

So, dear reader, let's pick up with Joel to Lisa:

Lisa:

Some land agents I know said that they could get the cash for us if we cut
them in on the deal. Should I have them send you a personal check, or what?
I don't want them to send cash. What if the envelope tore and all of the
cash came out?! The post office probably wouldn't deliver it. I imagine that
the African postal workers are shifty and dishonest, but I could be wrong.
Even American postal workers would probably postpone their plans on coming
in to work with a gun if they saw cash spilling out of an envelope. No sir,
cash in the mail is a very bad idea.

Do you have zebras where you live?

Joel

AND Lisa to Joel:

The funds could be sent by western union money transfer,or
money gram these is the fastest way to send money world wideso it is easy
for us,the land agents want big share of the money how do we do that,how
much do the need just borrow the money from them,and say you pay back in
1week time,so we get these money all for us,so now try and get the funds and
send it through western union money transfer so we could finalize the
transaction by these new week and no that we are done and we share the funds
50/50,so my dear joel make your possible best to send the money before
tuesday by western union.