Away! Away! Away!

It is time for us to head North, to go under the volcano again. So, while I am gone, here is some advice for you people:

Remember, there are a lot of crazies out there, so be careful! Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Don't take any wooden nickels. Keep your powder dry. When dangling, watch your participles. Don't use no double negatives. Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead. Surrender, nuts! Hold Stalingrad to the last man! Don't salt your beans until they are nearly done, or they will be tough. Taste your food before you add salt. Obey your parents. Believe, obey, fight! Pay, pray, obey! A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. You can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar. If it is flies you are after, try bullshit! Testifying to Congress is like raising mushrooms: keep 'em in the dark and feed them lots of manure. Hard work never killed anyone. Quit complaining. Stiff upper lip and all that. Think of the starving kids in India. If you use that tone of voice on me, young man, you can just go straight to your room. If you use that tone of voice on me young lady, you can just go straight to your room. If you use that tone of voice on me, old...you get the picture. Just don't use that tone of voice with me. Perhaps a little stint in a reeducation facility will make you see the error of your ways. Let me see your identity card. Are you now, or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party? Have a happy Thanksgiving...or else.

Headline Fun

"Explorer aims to conquer Poles, Everest in 365 days."

Must be a German. I think that I would want to put some of my attention to administration after conquering Poland (perhaps he is going to go for the Poles in Chicago, though), and let a subaltern go arrest this Everest fellow.

Anyway, it is cold and gray. Tomorrow it might rain. Then we will be driving and driving. The house will probably be very cold when we get back, although now that we have the cat, we will probably leave a little heat on. Maybe not. He has a fur coat, after all, and it won't be too outlandishly cold for him. It depends on whether or not he is a nice kitty before Wednesday.

I better stop before this turns into some shaggy dog of a "News from Lake Wobegon" sort of story.

It was a quiet week in Vallejo...

Another Music Lesson?

The funny thing is that when I decided to become a music major, all those years ago, the very last thing that ever occured to me was teaching music to children. It is not that I had anything against that, in fact, I have always believed that children need a solid musical education, even if they are not going to become musicians (I could even say, "especially if they are not going to become musicians"). But I never saw that I was the person to do this teaching.

Well, things happen, circumstances change, and word of mouth gets going, and the next thing you know I have two music classes and private lessons going on and a book in progress. It is quite fun, does not really take that much time, and gives me some hope that there will be a few children out there who understand a few things about rhythm, harmony, and the elusive quality of variety within unity.

It all started, of course, with homeschooling. I decided Amalia needed to have a solid music education, aiming at the equivalent of a BA in music by age 16. We started her on lessons and then a neighborhood girl came twice a week for recorder, rhythm and pitch work. That is how it spread. So, if you are in the North Bay or East Bay and are looking for a music teacher (keyboard, theory, history, composition, percussion), I seem to be in business.

Today, however, Amalia has a substitute teacher (Melanie), so I have Veteran's Day off, for the most part. I will probably be giving a keyboard lesson later, but my plan is to spend most of my time in the studio, I am still trying to get something together for a big splash with a new series, and have to avoid the temptations of chemistry... or at least to keep them from taking too much time. It is just that synthetic resins are very interesting! They can do stuff to light that is really stunning. Unfortunately they require ghastly fumes that dissolve liver tissue and nerve cells, requiring working with masks, and I don't even like painting with gloves on, as many painters do to avoid absorbing nasty stuff through the skin. If someone comes up with a way to use synthetic resins without the need for super-toxic volatile organic solvents and hardeners, I will be very happy.

Mormons!

As my readers know, I have no particular fondness for Mormons. In fact, I registered as a Republican for the only time in my life simply to stop Mitt Romney. I said at the time, and I still hold to this, that I would rather have Obama or Clinton in the White House than a Mormon. I was going to vote for McCain, but I realized that what I was voting for was anti-Obama. I could still vote anti-Obama and not have to vote for McCain by voting for Keyes, which I did in good conscience. At least Romney lost, too.

However, the Mormons stepped to the plate, ironically, in defence of normal marriage, and they are taking considerable heat for it. As loath as I am to want to go out of my way to support a Mormon-owned business, or to number a Mormon among my friends, I have to salute the little devils on this one. We are not planning a winter trip, and probably would not go to Utah anyway, but if I were, I would have to consider it. Perhaps a trip to the small winemaking industry in Utah would be the proper way to go.

The funny thing is that the left, which is always singing its praises for democracy, seems to have not noticed that Prop 8 passed not because the people of Utah voted for it, rather because the people of California did. Of course when they lose an issue, it was because the people are stupid and were fooled by the baddies. When they win, vox populi, vox dei. Why don't the leftists boycott, and move out of, California? Go on, amscray. Give us our state back, all you weirdos from New Jersey, Ohio, Nebraska, etc., who come out here to import your twisted view of what California is? Raus!

So, for the moment, we are easing up on our open disdain for the Mormons and applying the same dignified nonchalance to them, too. Book of Mormon? Pearl of Great Price? Izzat so?

It is time for the annual cold.

Sniff. Snort. Take some pills. Sleep. Achoooo. Did I already take my Claritin? Oh, yes. Rrnph!

Because it is that time of year, when pork tastes so good...

A friend of mine sent me a link to some of the illustrations out there of Dante's Inferno that feature Mohammed. I poked around the rest of the site, and found it interesting. Therefore, I pass to you...The Mohammed Image Archive. Surprisingly, there are quite a few from Mohammedan sources, which, at various times, did not consider the ban on Mohammed's image to be all that important. Enjoy.

Message to the Troops

The mode for now is Dignified Nonchalance. Practice saying, "izzat so?" Give the Democrats enough rope and let them see to the details. Have no fear, this election was handed to them on a silver platter, and they still had to fight hard for it. They have the White House and the Congress. Our best strategy is to smile and say "izzat so?" This will give them every opportunity to affirm all sorts of error and will strip them of the excuse that obstructionist reactionaries fought tooth and nail to hamper their annointed one.

It's a pity, since I was looking forward to making a bundle selling "Impeach Obama" shirts in January.

Also note, this strategy would not work on Communists, because Communists are much smarter than Democrats.

My Concession Speech.

Once again, you "people", did not elect me to be President last night.

Bastards!

That is all fine and well, however. No hard feelings or any of that.

Dirtry, rotten, imbecilic

They say that a democracy is the sort of system where the people get the government they deserve.

and I hope you get it good and hard

Meanwhile I will be in a more pleasant place than Washington, D.C., enjoying life and drinking copious gin and tonics.

While that breathing bobble-head you elected has to be nice to the French foreign minister

I must, of course, congratulate my opponent on a well-run campaign.

which is like complimenting the blade that the mugger is wielding on you.

And we must work together.

Well, you dunderheads can all work together, in one big happy pillowfight of glee. As for me, I am getting out of Dodge and shaking the dust from my sandals

Good night.