Upcoming Lecture: John Ruskin, The German Nazarenes and the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood

Next week, on Thursday May 10, I will be lecturing on John Ruskin, The Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood and the German Nazarene painters. The fun starts at 7:30 at St. Margaret Mary's in Oakland. There is no admission fee, but the St. Anthony of Padua Institute will suggest that you subscribe (for more information on the institute and what subscription is all about go here.

The lecture will be approx. 45-50 minutes, with a question and feeble attempts at answer session afterwards. We will try, as usual, to keep it all fun and informative.

There is a betting pool as to whether or not I will have time to get a proper haircut for the event, or whether I will do it myself, or will talk Melanie into cutting it, or whether I will simply not get around to it. The smart money goes for A, but the others are distinct possibilities as well. All I know is that I am mightily shaggy right now.

If you are coming from out of town, get in touch, so we can plan on at least a coffee or drink afterwards.

Hmmm....this might be a good new product line...

Someone came here looking for racial rants on tape.

I am sorry, but I don't have any, currently. I could make some. I have a little cassette recorder. If I am ranting about race, it is generally against the English or French, although if I am spending too much time around my own people, I have been known to rant against Germans and Italians, too.

I prefer to rant on other topics, but if the market is there, I can deliver. So, if you would like to order one, the cost is $50 for a sixty minute racial rant on tape plus shipping and handling (runs about $8), prepaid. Please specify if you want me to rant on the English, French, Germans or Italians. I can probably so a sampler, too.

However, from today's readings at Mass, I have to recognize that even the English can be saved.

Who woulda thunk?

When to say "no"...

The proper time to say "no" is after you have eaten one dessert. I don't care how good the proferred second dessert is. I don't care if it is a strawberry tiramisu made by your friend who is visiting from Italy. I don't care if the slice is "just a little one."

You must say "no."

Or, if you don't, fine with me, just don't expect me to be sympathetic when you complain of being over-stuffed. I know you are not sympathetic to me right now.

A few things that I will never understand the appeal of...

Perhaps my readers can help me, but is it just me or is there absolutely nothing to the Dave Matthews Band? Or how about Smashing Pumpkins? Or Soundgarden? Or anything from Seattle? Tori Amos? I can understand someone saying about any one of these, "well, ok. They are not completely offensive. Kind of dull." But to be a fan of one of these? To pay money to go to a concert? I don't get it. Not one bit.

ANZAC Day

Ah yes, I let ANZAC Day pass without comment, mainly because I couldn't figure out how to say "Bah! Humbug!" in good, old fashioned German.

Who more worthress...Arec Bardwin or Richard Gere? And my acoustical attic...

OK. I shouldn't take nearly as much amusement from this story as I do. It is just that I have never liked Richard Gere as an actor, and his obnoxious politics leave me even colder.

Still, I must have sympathy for his supporters. You know how it is for us these days when we hear of a sexual scandal involving a priest and we get more details and breathe a sigh of relief and say, "at least it was with a woman?" Well, for Gere's supporters, they can at least say...never mind. Even I will not go there.

There are cheap shots and there are free shots.

Does anyone still remember that stuff? Sort of like Kemp's Lake Tahoe. You can find out little bits about the scandal with Google, but, my oh my, has it evaporated, compared to other scandals.

Anyway, since my new studio is smaller than the old studio (yet better in many ways...I keep telling myself), I have to make sure that everything has a place, and a use. Anything that doesn't, gets tossed or sold. Period. I cannot save anything that I cannot find a use for in the next year or two. And that includes the box of cassettes that has been following me around for years.

I have been wary of simply throwing away the box, since there are tons of unmarked cassettes with gems on them. I have been going through those cassettes, listening, labeling, shelving, etc.

I was mightily pleased to discover cassettes of some of my electronic compositions from many years ago, one in particular that came out of my work with Stockhausen's "Four Criteria of Electronic Music." What makes me most interested in this piece is that I am using the system I developed for the compositional structure for a series of paintings right now, yet I have not been able to find anything but the reel-to-reel master tape of the piece (and I don't have a reel-to-reel player/recorder any more). So I was overjoyed to put on this unmarked cassette to hear this piece.

Now, I was curious about two things about this piece (which I composed in 1993 or 1994):

1. Since I used just about the whole spectrum of human audible sound, would I be able to hear some of the high frequency patterns that I put in there?

2. This was a piece I wrote when I was thoroughly immersed in mid-century avant-garde music (Xennakis, Stockhausen, Boulez, Yuasa, Subotnick, Cage, etc.). While I still listen to and enjoy that music, I am not nearly as involved in it as I was then, and I wondered if I would enjoy hearing, even to be able to endure this long composition of pure electronic music.

Well, I am pleased that, yes, I can still hear even the very highest parts of the music, and that I enjoyed listening to this piece even more now than I did the last time I heard it (when it was used at a dance performance many years ago).

I also found lots and lots of concert tapes of various ensembles I have been in, and have really been enjoying listening to the Balinese gamelan that I played in (although there the ragged edges on some of the pieces annoy me now even more than they did then - although I no longer have the same pique at the musicians who were responsible for those ragged edges - I remember days when a couple of us wanted to strangle a tempo-challenged musician or two).

The worst was a live tape from a band I was in back in 1991/1992. The performance was pretty good, but I had one solo where my intonation was out to lunch. Egads.

Pork Chops

I made pork chops tonight. I use a paste rub (pimenton, garlic, oregano, cumin, cinnamon, allspice, clove, dried ginger, pepper, fennel seed, Worcestershire sauce, olive oil, bay, whatever else strikes my fancy at the moment), browned them in olive oil with minced ginger, added some orange marmelade, vermouth and tamarind syrup, lowered the heat and simmered them till they were done.

I am not getting more specific, because you should experiment. The thing is: balance sweet, spice and tart. Finish with salt.

For sweet (sometimes it can be combined with tart) you can use orange juice, triple sec, Coca Cola, pineapple juice, pomegranite reduction, whatever. Try to keep it fruity: currant preserves are nice, as are prunes or apricot lekvar.

For tart you have myriad vinegars to choose from, dry table wine, sherry, lemon juice, lime juice, cranberry reduction, etc.

For spice, be sure to have ginger and allspice in there, but anything else is up to you and your nose.

If you want to have fun with salt, try rosemary or lavender salt.

Pork is a great food that can go both ways, wine-wise. Or should I say, all three ways, since beer often works too. For a red, I recommend something fruity and not too refined. A zinfandel or shiraz is perfect. For a white, try something crisp like a Gruner Veltliner or an Alsatian riesling or a Bonny Doon Malvasia Bianca. You can pick up the fruit of the dish, or you can pick something minerally to offer a counterpoint.

For a starch, go simple: plain rice, pilaf or oven roasted potatoes.

Serve a simple salad, and you have a meal.

Willie the Shake

"Earning a bachelor's degree in English without the study of Shakespeare 'is tantamount to fraud,' says Anne Neal, president of the group."

The group in question is the American Council of Trustees and Alumni, "a Washington-based group that promotes academic quality." It would seem from this article that their idea of academic quality is sound. Other than this story, however, I do not know them from Adams, as a 419 scammer once told me ("Who in blazes is Adams?" was my reply then).

I have always taken a dim view of Harvard, dimmer than any other East Coast college. However, according to this study, Harvard is the only of the Ivy League schools to require its English majors to take a course in Shakespeare.

When pointing out the error of Biblephobic liberals, I have often used the example of someone claiming to be a Middle Eastern studies scholar and not having ever read the Koran. Similarly, how can one claim to be educated in the West without intimate familiarity of the Bible?

Or of English literature without at least a course worth of Shakespeare?

Oh well, I am sure they are making up for it in their Rap poetry studies.

Cathedral Rising

I drove by the skeleton of the new Oakland Cathedral this morning. It is looking pretty much like what I am expecting, although it is still in its very early stages. While I don't think the building is remotely suitable for liturgy, they could probably sell it to the Chabot Space and Science Center, who could turn it into a fantastic annex for the display of aircraft. Then the diocese could use the money to build a real cathedral.

I do like how the structure is rising out of the site. I am skeptical that it will still look so cool when it is finished.

I will say that I would rather have this thing than some Duncan Stroik pastiche.

Yippeeeeeeee!

Bullfight Season starts today!
Doo Da!
Doo Da!
I want to shout with glee "Ole!"
Oh doo da day!

Overheard Chez Keilholtz

NPR: blah blah blah French election. Sergoline Royale. Runoff. Blah blah blah.

Erik: Grrr. I was hoping that LePen would knock her out of the final election.

Melanie: Is that because you don't like her ideas or is it because she is a woman?

Erik: This is France we are talking about. They are all women. No, it is because she is a Socialist.

Millipedes, centipedes, and scorpions

I have a strong aversion to millipedes, centipedes, and scorpions. Very few other creepy crawlies bug me (ouch), and I have spent plenty of time playing with all sorts of insects, arachnids, and other arthropoda. But these three things are a whole other ballgame.

Ick. Too many legs, cheating by having claws AND a stinger, outlandishly long fangs, all of these put me slightly on edge.

So, keep this in mind as I tell you about going to Cal Day at UCB, and going to the Museum of Entymology, where it was definitely "Hands On Day."

You can touch all sorts of things: cockroaches, walking sticks, praying mantises, millipedes... in fact, you can even have the millipede crawl on you. It is not some little millipede, but a big, black, shiny African giant millipede. This sucker is ten inches long and is propelled by all of these creepy little legs.

"Would you like to touch the millipede?"

"And then do I get to put a scorpion on my tongue?" I thought to myself.

Amalia immediately reaches out to touch the millipede. They let it walk over her fingers. I can't let a five year old girl be more adventurous about arthropoda than I. After all, I am the one who taught her how to identify many types of insects, who helped her run her ladybird beetle farm, who constantly tells her that, no, arthrododa aren't necessarily creepy.

Aw, great. Money where the mouth is time.

No grimmacing, no hesitating. I first touch the back of the millipede. An exoskeleton is an exoskeleton. It might as well have been a cockroach. Then it is time to have it walk accross my hand.

Hmmm. Not too horrible. All those little legs are a little disconcerting, but not terrible.

So, there you have it.

Today I had a giant African millipede walk accross my hand. I certainly did not wake up this morning expecting that.

New Cookbook

This sounds promising. I will have to check it out and review it.

Meanwhile on the food front, I had a challenge tonight: to make gourmet mini-weenies. Yes, the type of thing usually associated with Stupor Bowl parties, but made the Chez Panisse way. I was fairly pleased with the basic sausage I made tonight (a beef/pork/pork fat skinless wurst seasoned with garlic, onion, coriander, pimenton, lovage, bay, basil, thyme, pepper, salt, clove, and allspice). I have four sauces in mind, so the next step will be to make the sausages and simmer them in the four sauces (tamarind sweet and sour, mole, mustard, and barbecue).

I took pictures of the sausage making, but I left my camera at our friends' house, where I made the sausages, so it will have to wait.

Speaking of pictures of food, I realize that I have about three or four recipes in the hopper, complete with photos, and that if I don't post a recipe soon, I will have to change the name of the blog. I know this, yet getting my new studio in order takes first priority. Sorry.

Are you Ronery?

Read this and then come back for the sing-along:

You are worthress, Arec Bardwin...

Aw, I suppose I should go easy on the head of the Film Actors' Guild.

For those of you who have not seen Team America: World Police this is not making one bit of sense to you. Go see it.

To My British Readers...

I never cease to be amazed that I still have readers from the UK. I doubt that any of them are Anglitics, but I still would have imagined that the regular abuse I hurl at that island would have driven them away. Chalk it up to that noted British stoicism. Stiff upper lip and all that.

Of course, I have plenty of British friends, and tend to like many Englischers.

But that is beside the point.

There is currently a petition asking the Parliament to legalize bullfighting in the UK. It is half tongue-in-cheek, a response to the silly and constant barrage of anti-taurino nattering that comes from the Anglosphere, with its regular submission of petitions to the EU demanding an immediate end to bullfighting.

However, it is an official petition, and one must be a British citizen or resident to sign, so if you are, follow the link and sign it. Strike a blow in favor of civilization!

Mongolian Cryptozoology

Almas and Mongolian Death Worms are your cryptids of the day.

Alas, I think I hear a Tasmanian tiger rattling about in the studio.

After the War

We saw After the War last night. It is not really worth seeing, as the plot is fragmented and melodramatic (at the same time that it manages to be lackluster and dull - probably because the instances of melodrama are all loose threads. There really is no central plot to the thing), sort of a soap opera with post-war racial relations themes. Yawn. If you are a fanatic for local history, you should probably see it, because it covers an interesting time in San Francisco, but it is far too caught up in ithues: who is the bigger victim, the black fellow or the fellow who was in a concentration camp; is the brother who fought in the 442nd the brave one or the one who was the "No-No Boy?"; and all of these questions boil down in the final scene to "whitey is at it again."

The tragedy of urban renewal in the Fillmore certainly had racial undertones, but that was one part of a complex and diabolical zeitgeist.

But, this play wasn't really an essay on a particular time and place, nor was it a thorough evaluation of black-Japanese relations. Instead it was a story, and it is in its storytelling that it failed.

The playwright (can't remember his name), needs to remember that if you show a gun in the first Act, it had better be fired in the sedond. Not waved around (wimpy, wimpy, wimpy - is this the Liberal gunphobe way to deal with that rule?). Fired. Bang.

And the acting was quite disappointing. Three of the actors seemed to be trying to out-ham each other. ACT usually does better work than this.

My recommendation: if someone gives you a ticket, go. If you have to pay, skip it.

Now, Here's an idea!

Well, we can sell our stolen property when our little fake church has run its course and see old churches become community centers... or, what if, perhaps, we were to give them back to the True Church we stole them from? Blimey!

Why does anyone bother with ecumenical dialog with these people any more?

And, speaking of matters Angletical, the second quarter of England v. France has been postponed until tomorrow. Sorry. Sleep happened earlier than expected last night (had to make up for staying up too late the previous nights). American Conservatory Theater happens tonight. Sorry.

Baked with Lust since 1932?

Could somebody please tell me when Pride became a good thing?

The loaf of bread I bought yesterday informs me that the bakery has been "baking with pride since 1932." The homosexualists engage in "Gay Pride" parades, even though Lust is probably as much as part of the problem as Pride.

We never hear "made with Envy for 150 years." We never have to think about "Black Wrath Day."

Jim's Chocolates - Made with Gluttony for 280 years!

Yet, Pride gets, well, pride of place. Pride seems the deadliest of the sins, too. Naturally, the homosexualist movement is about lust at its core. Yet, pride is what fuels it, what transforms the "love that dares not say its name" to the "lust that simply will not shut up, even for an instant."

And while I am being offensive (which is sort of like water being wet), let me recommend Team America, World's Police. We just saw it last night, and many scenes had me in stitches. To top it off, the puppetry is exquisite, the scenery beautifully crafted, and the writing solid.

Now, be warned. This is not a movie for children or the squeamish. In fact, there are a couple of things that are offensive. And if you don't find them so, there is something wrong with you. However, in toto, this is a fantastic film that hits the nail on the head so many times (one of those songs could probably be aired with a straight face on a new country station) that it is really worth seeing. Would it be as effective if the offensive stuff weren't there? I don't think so. Part of the outrage that we should have about this war is that the aims of it seem to be exporting our pornographic culture and consumer-turbo-charged economy.

Yes, I know, if you are the type who gets all sappy over voting, then there is that, but, frankly, I don't trust Mohammedans with the vote, either here or abroad, so the Democracy! bit loses its appeal to me. Saddam was the best leader the Arab world has produced in generations (and that says much more about the Arab world than it does about the vicious Saddam).

Anyway, from either side of the political spectrum, especially the side that detests actors (who speak in the Film Actors' Guild, thus earning them the designation "F.A.G." after their names), this is a funny film.

We will resume the England v. France match later. I have used my lunchtime blogging time, and have too much to do.

I have been asked...

The question was posed to me as to whether or not I am more of a Francophobe (the nation, not the late saintly jefe of Spain) or an Anglophobe. I honestly can't say, but there are more things about French culture that I like than about the English. So, let us make a list and give points:

1. Literature. Now, the English have the depth here, but the French have some gems. From Chaucer to Shakespeare to Graham Greene, though, the English (and we are not even counting the English colonies: America, Ireland, Canada, India, etc., except for writers in those colonies who remain English subjects) are remarkable. We will have to give them 10 points here, to France's 7 (they are no slouches, either).

England 10, France 7

2. Music. Here is where the French kick some serious Anglo behind. For heavy hitters, the Angloes have Byrd, Tallis, Vaughan Williams, Britton (I am probably giving him a promotion, but there were a few great pieces), and Purcell (Handel was German, sorry boys). Many of their big names were boring, unmitigated doo doo like Holst and Elgar. We will give the English a 3. The French, on the other hand, have a musical tradition that goes back to the Leonin and has shining lights in every generation, with major dominance in the Ars Nova, the Baroque, and modern years (with remarkable contributions in Romanticism and the Renaissance). So, Leonin, Perotin, de Vitry, Machaut, Lully (OK, he probably should count as an Italian, if the English can't claim Handel), Rameau, Couperin, Marais, Saint Saens, Berlioz, Faure, Satie, Ravel, Debussy, Messaien, Henri, Schaeffer, Boulez, Risset, et al, give France a 10.

England 13, France 17

Painting. In the visual arts, we are looking at two countries with remarkable achievements, albeit both rather recent. When it comes to the 18th, 19th, and 20th centuries, both countries have long lists of great painters. Before and after those centuries, however, neither one is that great. The French have some lovely medieval painting, and the English kept good painting going longer in the twentieth century, after the French gave up (sometime around WWII), so the balance is kept. Let's give both countries a 7 and be done with it.

England 20, France 24

And that will end the first quarter of the great English-French Battle of 2007. The referee must go shower and get dressed for mass, so the second quarter, with its food, film and architecture rounds will happen this afternoon/evening.

Kurt Vonnegut and then...Don Ho?

Does anyone else see the connection, or are you all blinded by the Government Propoganda?

Anyway, Don Ho was never a favorite entertainer of mine, but I never saw him live. I heard an interview of him on NPR a few years back, and he sounded like a nice guy. I probably would have liked to see one of his shows in Hawaii.

RIP

Gentlemen, start your Stukas...

Wir fühlen in Horsten und Höhen
Des Adlers verwegenes Glück!
Wir steigen zum Tor
Der Sonne empor,
Wir lassen die Erde zurück.

What is this all about? Let's just call it Norbert Schultze Appreciation Day.

Kamerad! Kamerad!
Alle Mädels müssen warten!
Kamerad! Kamerad!
Der Befehl ist da, wir starten!
Kamerad! Kamerad!
Die Losung ist bekannt:
Ran an den Feind!
Ran an den Feind!
Bomben auf Engelland!

Yes, I recognize that it is never acceptible to bomb civilians, whether they be in Dresden or in London. And, certainly the cause of the German leadership was hardly a good one.

However, when I read about things like this, I really find it difficult to get teary-eyed over besieged London, and I can't say that the victory of Stalin and his allies was a great triumph for humanity, even though the end of Hitler was.

Ah, the sweet, bucolic nature of Nature...

Elephant seals are dangerous. If you can imagine two tons of angry, territorial might, you get the idea of a bull elephant seal. They are magnificent creatures, but they easily blow away notions of nature as a gentle, restful thing. So, when you consider that they themselves are prey to the great white shark, you are confronted with a portrait of stunning viciousness, the portrait of the natural world.

Ach!

In the whole Imus kerfluffle, I realized that, in my being busy with other matters, I have not kept up with Project Keep the Left Honest About Blacklists, and have not published a post with the word "faggot" in it.

How about, "Al Sharpton is a faggot."?

Does this mean I will have to go to rehab or CBS will drop my blog?

Kurt Vonnegut, RIP

Novelist Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. died at age 84. There was a period (high school), where I read just about everything he wrote. Most of the books I enjoyed, yet only read once. I am not sure many of them merit rereading, but each of them had something to offer. His observations of life were colored by his chattering class membership, but he often got things right in spite of that. I saw him give a lecture at UC Davis once, and he was funny, and yet I don't think I really took away any insights from the talk (much like most of his books). However, he was responsible, in part, for my lifelong love of reading. I think he was the first author who compelled me to stay up all night, two nights in a row, reading first this book, then that book.

If I were to divide his work into two categories, the one that was made of his best work would include Slaughterhouse Five, Cat's Cradle, and Player Piano.

Breakfast of Champions should have been his best book, but he killed it in the last forty pages (see Berniere, Louis de for a writer who does this consistently).

All in all, the reading world gained something from his writing, and will continue to gain something from his writing long after his passing, something very few of us writers can say with any honesty (especially not those of us who write for newspapers - take note of that, aspiring journalists).

Don Imus and Thenthitivity

Now, I don't know Don Imus from Adam. From what I have heard about his show, it sounds like the sort of thing that I have no interest in, therefore I have not wasted any time listening to it. It would seem, from what I have read about him, that he has made a career of being obnoxious.

What I can definitely do without is the hysterics over a comment that seems to be what one would expect when one elevates the "transgressive" and worships at the altar of shock.

One comment that "crosses the line" and he is to have his head served on a platter. Paul Robeson had a whole career of sucking up to the genocidal mass murderer Stalin, and he is revered as a hero who resisted blacklists and censorship.

The Internet and the Time Vortex

I have always known that the internet, which puts information at our fingertips, allows us to communicate at lightning speeds, etc., increases efficiency on one side of the coin, while decreasing it on the other. For instance, just about any blog owner will admit that most readers come around during normal business hours. I know that I have used the internet to put off doing unpleasant tasks (what, is that my messy studio I hear calling right now?). One day at the office I was disgusted at the low level of efficiency I was having. It was a balmy, slightly muggy day, and what was a little research into a European record distributor got a little off track, looking at photo sites of the city the distributor was in, and that reminds me of the Roman ruins in...etc. As I went downstairs to force myself from the computer, I saw the graphic designer frittering away time looking at irrelevant stuff. Downstairs, three coworkers, including the general manager, were crowded around the monitor looking at vintage guitars and mandolins on eBay. 100% worker non-productivity, and this with employees who were generally conscientious and content.

This article confirms some of what I guess is the case, but I am willing to bet that it is even worse. My guess is that all gains in efficiency from the technology have been wiped out, and the net productivity change has been negative. I can't prove it, but it is my guess.

Anyway, back to the messy studio. I will try once again to blog this evening, but this studio task is big (I am coming to terms with several years' worth of "to be filed" boxes).

Happy Easter

Well, we get to trade in our forty days of fasting for fifty of feasting. I hope everyone had a great Triduum. We did, although Amalia must get to bed at a reasonable hour tonight. Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday night all involved staying up way past the usual bed time, so someone is a little touchy this morning.

Anyway, work calls (on top of Amalia being home for spring break), so this will have to do until this evening, when normal blogging will resume.

Triduum!

As you can imagine, I will not be blogging much during the Triduum, so have a blessed one.

It Must Run in the Family

Amalia is a future food critic. When offered a piece of Angel's Food Cake, she replied, "no thank you. That cake smells like dog slobber."

Of course she is right. All Angel's Food Cakes smell like dog slobber, due to the albumen (egg white), which has a dog slobbery smell. The thing is, most people don't notice it because it is masked by the smell of cooked flour, vanilla, etc. The egg yolk that is in most other baked goods completely masks the smell (not even Amalia can detect the dog slobber smell).

I notice the trace of the dog slobber smell in many things that others don't, it just doesn't bother me when it is in such a small proportion to other things (I am one of those weirdos who is sensitive to a whole bunch of aromas and tastes, yet I like them. Most people who can detect bitterness as strongly as my tongue can't stand bitter food. Not me. Raddicchio. Coffee. Super dark, almost unsweetened chocolate. I revel in that almost-choking bitterness).

Now, I am waiting for her to complain that chocolate smells like rotten fish.

Sei Vorsichtig!

OK. Be warned. The following video is disturbing for a variety of reasons:

1. It just is. Red Asphalt has nothing on this German safety video.

2. This tells me entirely too much about the character of my people. It sort of changes certain questions, for instance, "how did it happen" to "it's amazing that it hasn't happened more often." We really are sick puppies, we Krauts.

3. Even if you don't speak German, you will get what is to be gotten out of it.

4. You might not want to eat for a couple of days, but should you become a forklift driver, you will be a safer one. If not, well, you will be shot.

5. I have said repeatedly that this is disturbing, you are clicking at your own risk. Don't come whining to me afterwards that I ruined your lunch.

Baseball Predictions

There seem to be a whole lot of predictions for the baseball season already. I don't quite get it, but since so many others are in the game, here are mine:

The Giants will play about half of their games at home and half away. The A's, aping the Giants once again, will do the same.

Of course the Cubs will also do this, which will raise hopes, once again, for the poor Cubs fans (one real prediction I will make: the Cubs will not make it to the World Series). Of course snide, hardened veteran sports writers will point out that the Yankees AND the Mets will follow a similar pattern.

Of course as we get into September, the numbers start taking on much more meaning, and we will see four teams in each league playing baseball in October. Ultimately, we will end up with a National League victor and an American League victor. You might have another suggestion, but this is how it has been for years.

And the World Series winner will definitely be one of the following two teams: the American League champs or the National League champs.

Now, if the A's have all of their players go on the disabled list, they will not have a very good season.

And that is how the 2007 baseball season is going to pan out.

Play Ball!

April Fools?

You know, I feel like I am dropping the ball, but I did not do a single April Fool's prank. Not a one (I did, however, get a kick out of the "fact" that NPR was sponsored by the Soylent Corporation, as well as the story on limiting ring tones in New York City). The reason I feel guilty about it is that my grandmother was an April Fools' Day master. Every year, she would have my grandfather urgently responding to some gag that she had managed to make believable.

So, I was going to hold up the banner, but, honestly, if I wrote in this space that I had sworn off pasta or joined the Salvation Army, you would know what was up. And if it were something more subtle, you wouldn't care.

It is snowing in Oakland today! April Fools.

Yawn. Anyway, we weren't in Oakland until 8:30pm.

So, no April Fools this year. Probably none next year, either. It has never really been my bag.