And now for something completely different...

I put this in the category of Art, but that is only partly accurate.

For almost a year, the Bancroft Library at the University of California at Berkeley has been showing off the cream of its collection at the Berkeley Art Museum (BAM. Really. They call it that. I know, it is disgraceful). Melanie went to see it at lunch yesterday and highly recommends it. I looked over the catalog, and have plans on seeing it tomorrow.

The reason I bring it up now is that it ends this Sunday. I only found out about it this week, or I would have gone, given a report, etc.

Some of the items:

Papyrus fragment of Sophocles' Inachus, one of two known fragments of this lost play.

Homer's Iliad, Book 2, on 2nd century AD papyrus.

Euclid's Elementa Geometriae in both an Italian manuscript from around 1460 as well as it's first print edition, from Venice in 1482.

Piranesi's Opere, including a complete set of I Carceri.

Letter from Junipero Serra.

The Marshall gold nugget.

Loads and loads of early Californiana, particularly anthropological items and natural history stuff. Not to mention great California paintings by Thomas Hill, William Keith, Bierstadt, et al.

Go see it if you are anywhere near the Bay Area. This show will never be repeated, due to the tremendous cost of insuring and securing it.

Here is something to read...

I never read Daniel Mitsui's blog until today, when Amy Welborn mentioned it, and I went off to take a look. On it I found this essay, which is quite interesting. Definitely worth a read.

If his background weren't all black, I would give points for the visuals on his blog, too. He has a good eye for art and architecture, if only the text weren't on that eye-straining black background.

You know, there is an art magazine that does a great job of using a black ground for almost everything, though. FMR, out of Italy, is probably the most beautiful art magazine out there. It also comes with good articles, which is something totally absent from the mainstream "watch the fads of the 'avant-garde'" magazines that clutter up the American art scene (the worst being ArtWeek, a monthly (!) rag out of that center of culture, San Jose, that somehow still survives, even though it neither interesting nor good).

Explain Me Something...

My desktop Weather Channel thing tells me that it is currently 39 degrees Farenheit. Feels about right.

Why then does it project the day's low temperature for the same place as 41? I would think that there should be some sort of face saving script that makes sure that the minimum is at least as low as the temperature already has been for the day (and that the maximum is at least as high as what has already been hit).

Or is the meteorological cycle not midnight to midnight?

Inquiring minds would like to know.

Wimping Out...Day Three of the Baby Treatment

I ended up wimping out, and decided to go one more day of taking it easy. I will probably regret the decision, but we'll see.

I am now three days behind where I wanted to be this week on a major painting, though, and that irritates me.

I don't get it.

I just got an email from a longtime reader that he has not been able to post comments for the past few days. However, some people have been able to, and the spam still flows in at about 400-500 per day.

I am going to re-enable commenting, so if you have been blocked, this should fix that.

And if any of you know any clever ways to attack websites, please let me know. The spammers are at the point where if they were people in front of me, I would be smashing in noses about now.

No, scratch that. I was at that point two months ago. I am probably more at the lead pipe to the side of the head level.

I was thinking of making an application fee for advertising on the blog, and then billing the spammers. However, my guess is that most of these freaks are in Russia, so I would never really collect.

So that leaves guerilla war. I remember when I would hear about these "denial of service" attacks. How is that done? I would like to try it on the next spammer to send me 100 posts in one day.

Olfactory Hallucinations

I don't know if others get these, but once in awhile I get strong olfactory hallucinations. I should probably call them olfactory flashbacks or something, because they are not full blown hallucinations in that they trigger the brain directly, and don't masquerade as coming through my smell receptors in my nose. There are a couple of strange things about them:

1. They can be quite strong, yet never interfere with my actual sense of smell, so that I can have, for instance, a strong olfactory hallucination of bubblegum, but can still effectively taste wine and not miss anything, while still having this intense bubblegum sensation. In fact, sometimes when I am having these things, my sense of smell is particularly acute.

2. I tend to get them when I have a cold, though, which means that either my mind is making up for a lack of olfactory stimulus, or that these things do get masked by actual smells.

3. They often hit me when hungry, and often are of things that I have not eaten or thought about in awhile.

For instance, right now, as I was getting ready to reheat some turkey pot pie, I had an intense smell of barbecue pork raging, which was then joined by cinnamon candy (atomic fireball, after sucking on it for about 20 seconds). Now they are alternating. My sense of smell is not quite at my usual level, but it is not altogether gone, either.

Strange. I am going to eat lunch and will see what happens.

NOTE: Due to the fact that this post has become a spam magnet, comments have been closed. Please feel free to email me at EKeilholtz [at] aol [dot] com if you have any comment, question, addition, etc.

Sniffle. Sniffle. Honk. Sniffle.

I am quickly realizing why I don't get sick more often. It is not fun, and it is not particularly noble suffering, either, since it tends to make you a slug, and so it increases ones inclination towards sloth in greater proportion to the penitential aspect of the suffering. At least in me, but I tend towards the slug anyway.

Of course writing is a terrible job for one with a tendency towards the sluggish, since it involves sitting in front of a computer for hours at a time. Painting is a good job for a slug, since there is always something that has to be stretched or prepped or moved or set up or cleaned, and the physical nature of the craft side of it makes the body move, even when one is reluctant.

So, perhaps I need to see the dearth of writing assignments as some special gift. The daily papers I write for are all in turmoil, and I found out that my old editor was gone by seeing a different name in the masthead. Of course that doesn't directly matter to my own future, because I had already been moved from one section to another (which is a whole different story), but I liked this old editor, and I don't think I like the direction that will come with the new editor. Oh well, as they say, it's not my department, no mo'.

So, here I am writing on this (old habits die hard), when I should be out fixing sags in a large stretched canvas. But, I say, it is cold out there, and I should really stay inside taking care of myself...

Balderdash! I have hit a plateau in my recovery. And, as my regular readers know, a plateau demands the gin and cigars cure. Of course I don't drink gin before five, except in the context of tonic on a hot day at an outdoor party, so it will have to wait.

I am serious. Often when we are sick it is because we are weak and secretly like the excuse of being sick. Our bodies are either recovering or getting worse. Stasis is a sure sign of goldbricking, so when you find that you are not getting sicker, yet not really improving, it is time to stop being a baby. When you are getting worse, sure, rest, plenty of clear fluids, blah blah blah. When it starts getting better, encourage it by the same. But when you hit a plateau, this means war, and you will need heavy artillery, like martinis and maduro cigars.

Now, the question of coffee comes up. At no point should you stop drinking espresso, but if you are in the getting sicker or getting better stages, avoid drip coffee even more arduously than usual. The espresso must be strong, ristretto and served completely without milk, which is, of course, baby food.

If you don't normally drink espresso, you must when you have a cold. At least one shot in the morning and one in the afternoon. And it must be well made. Starbucks ain't gonna cut it. Also, before bed, have half a Tablespoon of cognac (and no cheap Korbel brandy either, it must be cognac).

And you must always take megadoses of Vitamin C, zinc, and whatever other herbs the hippies put in the "immune boosters." Half of them are snake oil, but so is half of what the doctors give you, too, so just take the things.

What?!? You still have leftover turkey?

OK. Here is the deal. I am trying to avoid running a restaurant. I get myself involved in insanely complex cooking projects to get it out of my system, and that has worked until recently. Now, after cooking some giant multi-course dinner for 300 people, I wake up the next morning wanting to do it all over again, to correct things that could have gone better, etc.

Basically, I think that I am feeding fuel to the fire.

These last couple of days I have been fighting a cold. It is something I do maybe once every couple of years. I used to get a cold once a year, but that was weak, so I am cutting back.

What really makes me think that I am doomed is that yesterday I slept most of the day (with a little blogging break, and a little bit of putting some stuff away, but mostly it was all about sleep). However, I ended up making a turkey pot pie with dough made from scratch and an additional mirepoix/marsala reduction and a selection of fresh herbs I gathered in the garden. I really did not have the energy for a project like that, but the lure of cooking won.

Sick. I know.

Today, I realized that we still had some turkey leftover, and it would not be edible in another day or two, so I fried it in goose fat and olive oil (I would have used freshly rendered lard, but I had used all of that yesterday in my pie crust) with garlic, onions, cumin, cinnamon, pimenton agrodulce, Mexican oregano, and salt. After it had fried for a bit, I poured in a splash of tequila, roasted garlic salsa, and a generous dash of tamarindo syrup and reduced it. We made quesadillas out of that, with Monterrey Jack and flour tortillas, serving some more salsa on the side.

I highly recommend this recipe, as the frying and tamarind correct the dryness that five day old cooked turkey has.

You could also add a chipotle to the mix, as that is a great flavor with these sorts of things.

For Those Of You Who Do Not Like Radioactive Cicadas...

Mr. Riddle, in the same breath that he calls Set Sail for the Sun "indistinguishable from cicadas, except perhaps by volume," goes on to laud Space Age Bachelor Pad Tiki Music. Now, you might be surprised to know that I love this stuff, too. In fact, in Martin Denny's stranger moments, he and Stockhausen shake hands behind the Mai Tais.

Recently, I have relied on this show out of Kansas Public Radio to provide a source for this sort of thing. There are a couple of others out there, too, like Space Age Pop.com that provide background information as well as plenty of discographies and links.

I will let you guess who my favorite easy listening musician is.

It is really not too hard, if you think about it for a bit.

While you are trying to figure it out, I will be down at the bullring by the sea...

Mr. Bush, No One Will Blame You...

If you have your White House Plumbers take care of these guys.

OK, some folks will, but they are already blaming you for everything anyway (and not unjustly on many counts). And, of course it will not erase the stain on your own record, but this sort of disloyalty cannot be allowed to stand. At least crush their reputations.

If my advisors in the Keilholtz Dictatorship pulled one like this, they would never see another day outside the salt mines.

And, seriously, he can't be reelected anyway? He really has no choice but to declare martial law. I would.

Oh yeah...

Don't tell Culbreath, but we passed through his neck of the woods again, without stopping. This time, as we were rushing North to get to Redding in time, Melanie asked, "doesn't your friend live around here?"

"Yeah, and everytime he reads on the blog that I passed through, once again, I catch it."

Next time, Jeff, I promise. We would have stopped today, but with this storm bearing down on us we were anxious to get back home.

It really is a lovely part of the world, though.

One last thing, before I get back to fiddling with the receiver:

If you live in Northern California, you owe it to yourself to head out to one of the salmon/steelhead runs just to look at the big fishies. Watching a four foot monster swim up rapids is breathtaking.

The Coleman National Fish Hatchery is one of our favorite spots, but you can catch the action closer to civilization at the Nimbus Fitch Hatchery, too.

I am back...

I was going to step up to the plate and take up my duty of entertaining, informing, amusing, commanding, leading, haranguing, and otherwise taking the role of Beloved Leader to you people, but my attempts to ban all comments failed, so I had hundreds of spam comments to delete, and by the time I finished I realized that it is cold, late, and I was driving for four hours this afternoon.

Oh, that, and we have a new AV receiver for me to play with.

So, tomorrow I will be back with your regular programming. Meanwhile, keep yourselves amused.

You could always search YouTube for interesting stuff.

Finally, one last bit of Stockhauseniana...

The interview is much more interesting than the introduction, although the excerpts from Licht are quite fun. My favorite part of this is towards the end where he is asked about traditional music and whether or not he wants to break from it.

Reflective Pond

For those who want some visuals to go with their Stockhausen...

Set Sail for the Sun

This piece, Set Sail for the Sun is by Karlheinz Stockhausen. It is one of the few pieces of his I really know nothing about. I have never seen the score (or, I am guessing, in this case parameters), and do not know anything of its structure besides what I have gleaned from watching this a few times. It is absolutely gorgeous, and can provide for you a welcome respite from Thanksgiving Day festivities.

Enjoy!

Comments

Since I am going to be away for four days, and I have been fighting off spam at a rapid rate (about 400 comments a day), I am attempting to close the comments in my absence. So far it is not working. I do not know why.

But if I figure it out, and you are trying to comment, and it won't let you, just wait until Monday.

More from Ali G.

Buy low, sell high, right? Ali G learns a valuable lesson in economics.

My Axe is Sharpened for Baptist Necks...

This atrocious piece of excrement was written by a heresiarch of the Baptist orientation. However, I really don't think that one is made a Baptist at birth, rather it is a lifestyle that one chooses. One's formation might have a lot to do with it, but...well, anyway, let's fisk, shall we?

What if Christian leaders are wrong about homosexuality? I suppose, much as a newspaper maintains its credibility by setting the record straight, church leaders would need to do the same:

Correction: Despite what you might have read, heard or been taught throughout your churchgoing life, homosexuality is, in fact, determined at birth and is not to be condemned by God's followers.

Obviously if you are a Baptist, you are used to your church being wrong. On most things, as a matter of fact. Now, adding to denial of the Eucharist, Purgatory, Primacy of Peter, etc., is this funny notion that homosexuality is "determined at birth." Really? How does this happen? Does God mysteriously infuse the newborn with pixie dust? Or is the birth experience so traumatic that some poor little boys develop an irrational fear of women?

Birth? Ah, yes! Everything starts at Birth. Life, for instance. I see where "Rev." Buzz is going here. It's SCIENCE, dontcha know? You fun-da-men-tal-ists are denying science with your crazy respect for the unborn and embryonic stem cell research, which has so far led to, well, not a single cure, but it will. This I know. Because the Scientists tell me so.

Based on a few recent headlines, we won't be seeing that admission anytime soon. Last week, U.S. Roman Catholic bishops took the position that homosexual attractions are "disordered" and that gays should live closeted lives of chastity.

And there you have it. In other news, the US Roman Catholic bishops reaffirmed the Nicene Creed.

At the same time, North Carolina's Baptist State Convention was preparing to investigate churches that are too gay-friendly.

Does "Rev." Buzz feel a little threatened perhaps?

Even the more liberal Presbyterian Church (USA) had been planning to put a minister on trial for conducting a marriage ceremony for two women before the charges were dismissed on a technicality.

Wow! Hope even for the Presbyterians, who have always struck me as being about free markets and golf.

All this brings me back to the question: What if we're wrong?

Buzz (I am going to drop the Rev bit, Buzz, it's not really accurate), I have news for you: you are wrong. What you are asking here, in an oh-so-sneaky-look-how-this-includes-me-and-is-not-just-some-east-coast-liberal-thing-but-it-really-is way is "what if you're wrong?" And, truth be told, what you are really saying is "you are wrong."

Religion's only real commodity, after all, is its moral authority.

Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit! Sorry for the crudity, but anything more refined does not do justice to this statement. Real religion's prime commodity is Truth. Moral authority is built on truths. Sexual morals are built on what the nature of the human person is.

Come on, Buzz, repeat after me: "Ontology first, then Ethics."

Otherwise you get monsters like Peter Singer. Or Buzz Thomas.

Lose that, and we lose our credibility. Lose credibility, and we might as well close up shop.

Lost is. Now please close up shop. You people lost credibility when you signed on with the fallen angels in their rebellion against God.

It's happened to Christianity before, most famously when we dug in our heels over Galileo's challenge to the biblical view that the Earth, rather than the sun, was at the center of our solar system.

Oh crap, I knew you were going to dig this one up. Why don't you learn the details of the case first? Do I even need to go over the minutiae here? You can read it elsewhere, but if what Buzz here says makes you nod, you have homework to do. Lots of it.

You know the story.

Yes, I do. Too bad you don't.

Galileo was persecuted for what turned out to be incontrovertibly true. For many, especially in the scientific community, Christianity never recovered.

No, Galileo was prosecuted for refusing to teach his erroneous theory as theory.

ERRONEOUS? C'mon, Keilholtz, you are not like that Sungenis idiot? Surely you accept a heliocentric solar system?

Yes, I do, but I accept Kepler's theory of eliptical orbits. Galileo was trotting out the Copernican theory of circular orbits. The Jesuit astronomers CORRECTLY noted that the data did not support Galileo.

Galileo would not accept the data, which, although he had been a brilliant scientist in the past and had a correct intuition, made him a cruddy scientist in this case. Just as a scientist who accepts the scientistic mythology that Buzz has bought, hook, line and sinker, is a cruddy reader of history. Galileo, in spite of his papal patronage and church support for his studies his whole career, stubbornly took the position at odds with the data and called it "science."

If that is not the foundational myth of modern scientism, I don't know what is.

This time, Christianity is in danger of squandering its moral authority by continuing its pattern of discrimination against gays and lesbians in the face of mounting scientific evidence that sexual orientation has little or nothing to do with choice.

Buzz. Let's go over something very basic: repeating something over and over does not count as "mounting scientific evidence." There is not a shred of scientific evidence pointing to the cause of homosexual orientation, as the tendency is commonly called. None.

To the contrary, whether sexual orientation arises as a result of the mother's hormones or the child's brain structure or DNA, it is almost certainly an accident of birth.

There we go with that birth stuff, again. DNA has nothing to do with birth. Can you get that into your little, pea-sized brain? And "almost certainly?" Well, Buzz, what if you're wrong? I am getting the feeling that this possibility has not even entered your mind.

The point is this: Without choice, there can be no moral culpability.

I am glad you learned at least one thing in moral theology. However, I am a heterosexual guy. But you know what? I don't chase skirts, because I have choice in my actions. I know some heterosexual guys who choose to do other things, and they leave their families and "marry" (probably in a Baptist church) a younger floozy, and the cycle starts all over again, until they are just too old to bother.

I think the problem is that Baptists don't have self control. If you people see something that is sexy, you want to have sex with it. And it is not the church's business to tell you to leave the sheep to themselves.

Answer in Scriptures

It is. Too bad you don't know how to read or interpret them.

So, why are so many church leaders (not to mention Orthodox Jewish and Muslim leaders) persisting in their view that homosexuality is wrong despite a growing stream of scientific evidence that is likely to become a torrent in the coming years?

Here we go wtih that "scientific evidence" again. A torrent? If you mean that "repeating the same thing over and over without any data," well, yes it is likely to become a torrent. Mostly because a lot of this "research" will come from psychologists who have already settled on determining truth by popular vote.

The answer is found in Leviticus 18. "You shall not lie with a man as with a woman; it is an abomination."

Leviticus! I knew it. Never mind what St. Paul wrote, we have to point to Leviticus, so that we can trot out some other Old Testament prohibitions to ridicule.

As a former "the Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it" kind of guy, I am sympathetic with any Christian who accepts the Bible at face value.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, there is nothing left for you to do but convict.

But here's the catch. Leviticus is filled with laws imposing the death penalty for everything from eating catfish to sassing your parents.

I knew it!

If you accept one as the absolute, unequivocal word of God, you must accept them all.

Buzz, I am surprised that you weren't considered too dumb to make it through Baptist seminary. My estimation of the Baptists has just fallen a notch. I suppose you are going to accuse us of "not being able to see nuance."

For many of gay America's loudest critics, the results are unthinkable. First, no more football. At least not without gloves. Handling a pig skin is an abomination. Second, no more Saturday games even if you can get a new ball. Violating the Sabbath is a capital offense according to Leviticus. For the over-40 crowd, approaching the altar of God with a defect in your sight is taboo, but you'll have plenty of company because those menstruating or with disabilities are also barred.

Yes, clever. Never mind the New Testament, never mind thousands of years of orthodox Judaic thought on these matters. Never mind making a distinction on matters of doctrine and discipline, etc. etc. etc.

The truth is that mainstream religion has moved beyond animal sacrifice, slavery and the host of primitive rituals described in Leviticus centuries ago. Selectively hanging onto these ancient proscriptions for gays and lesbians exclusively is unfair according to anybody's standard of ethics. We lawyers call it "selective enforcement," and in civil affairs it's illegal.

So, by Buzz's own brilliant legal reasoning, holding on to prohibitions against murder would be selective enforcement as well, if we were to allow the eating of shark.

A better reading of Scripture starts with the book of Genesis and the grand pronouncement about the world God created and all those who dwelled in it. "And, the Lord saw that it was good." If God created us and if everything he created is good, how can a gay person be guilty of being anything more than what God created him or her to be?

You see, Buzz, there was this incident in the Garden, where a serpeant tempted Adam and Eve, and now people are still basically good, but fallen. We "miss the mark" of who we are supposed to be. Notice, once again, the ontological basis of sin: it is not a rule book approach, but a yearning for a human ideal that, because of original sin, we can only attain with Grace.

But, not for Buzz. You see, God said "it was good" and absolutely nothing else has happened until those mean people came around last week and started preaching Leviticus. No exodus. No chosen people of Israel. Neither flood, nor prophets. No Hell. No Incarnation. No Passion. No Resurrection.

Buzz, you went to the John Lennon school of Theology, didn't you?

Turning to the New Testament, the writings of the Apostle Paul at first lend credence to the notion that homosexuality is a sin, until you consider that Paul most likely is referring to the Roman practice of pederasty, a form of pedophilia common in the ancient world.

Yes, Buzz, that "Roman" practice of pedophilia. You know, Spillane was a more subtle writer by ten.

Successful older men often took boys into their homes as concubines, lovers or sexual slaves.

"...Just as many successful older Baptists today take third wives. In fact, I will be officiating at one of those "weddings" this afternoon!"

Today, such sexual exploitation of minors is no longer tolerated.

Until that "torrent of scientific evidence" comes out to show us that this is OK, too.

The point is that the sort of long-term, committed, same-sex relationships that are being debated today are not addressed in the New Testament.

Neither was dropping atomic bombs. Buzz, are you seeing the problems that stem from a lack of magisterium? By the way, I am not even going to nibble on your goofball exegesis of St. Paul.

It distorts the biblical witness to apply verses written in one historical context (i.e. sexual exploitation of children) to contemporary situations between two monogamous partners of the same sex. Sexual promiscuity is condemned by the Bible whether it's between gays or straights. Sexual fidelity is not.

This is the rule book approach: the manual doesn't exactly condemn this in the words of today, so it must be alright. Buzz, you need to sit down and ask yourself some basic questions: what does it mean to be human? What is the purpose of human sexuality?

What would Jesus do?

What does Jesus do? He calls you to repent and to come into the True Church and get your mind out of the toilet.

For those who have lingering doubts, dust off your Bibles and take a few hours to reacquaint yourself with the teachings of Jesus. You won't find a single reference to homosexuality. There are teachings on money, lust, revenge, divorce, fasting and a thousand other subjects, but there is nothing on homosexuality. Strange, don't you think, if being gay were such a moral threat?

It's there in the lust section, if you weren't such a blind literalist. You just need to see nuance.

On the other hand, Jesus spent a lot of time talking about how we should treat others. First, he made clear it is not our role to judge. It is God's. ("Judge not lest you be judged." Matthew 7:1) And, second, he commanded us to love other people as we love ourselves.

If you turn this last one into a defense of hippy free love, you are hopeless. I am not sure if that is what you are doing, but since you miss almost every nuance in Scripture I do not think that you can distinguish between the types of love. Therefore, I can come to no other conclusion but that you are into the summer of love. Dirty Hippy Baptist.

So, I ask you. Would you want to be discriminated against? Would you want to lose your job, housing or benefits because of something over which you had no control?

As I said, I have control over my actions. It takes Grace, though. I also would not object if someone were to loose their housing because they turned their house into a brothel.

Better yet, would you like it if society told you that you couldn't visit your lifelong partner in the hospital or file a claim on his behalf if he were murdered?

What about friendship, Buzz? You could make these same claims on close, non-sexual friends. Why is it always about sex with you people? And don't say that it isn't all about sex, because if you take the sex out of your homosex relationships, they ain't so special anymore and wouldn't need all the fuss.

The suffering that gay and lesbian people have endured at the hands of religion is incalculable, but they can look expectantly to the future for vindication. Scientific facts, after all, are a stubborn thing.

Even when they don't exist!

Even our religious beliefs must finally yield to them as the church in its battle with Galileo ultimately realized.

No, circular orbits are still wrong. Period.

But for religion, the future might be ominous. Watching the growing conflict between medical science and religion over homosexuality is like watching a train wreck from a distance. You can see it coming for miles and sense the inevitable conclusion, but you're powerless to stop it. The more church leaders dig in their heels, the worse it's likely to be.

Yawn. I am so glad that we have Buzz to tell us what the future of medical science will bring.

Oliver "Buzz" Thomas is a Baptist minister and author of an upcoming book, 10 Things Your Minister Wants to Tell You (But Can't Because He Needs the Job).

The alternative title is "Martyrdom, Schmartyrdom! Sacrifice Truth to Hold on to a Good Position as a Pharisee!"

This title tells you all you need to know about Buzz Thomas.

Mincemeat

You ever had real mincemeat?

Not the kind with wax fruit and no, well, MEAT, but rather a concoction of home-candied citrus peel, apples, boiled beef heart, fat, nuts, brandy, rum, Marsala, and lots of spices?

Me either. But after our mixture has sat for a month, we will bake it into pies and I will give you a full report. It is a lot of chopping, so I hope it is tasty.

If not, well, you learn something every day.

Conversation from Flos Carmeli

For my general readers, this might not be interesting, but it is a continuation of a conversation over here with Steven Riddle. I guess the thread is old, because it will not let me post my comment, so here it is, because it is an interesting conversation. You may need to go back and read the conversation to get the full context. The italicized quote is snipped from Mr. Riddle's last salvo.

My impression of classical music post 1950 is that it has tended to mill about itself in the center of the room throwing its dwindling audience to the periphery.

Most classical music performance organizations face dwindling audiences. What I see as a general trend is to shore up the base: early music specialists delve WAY into historically informed performance, realizing that even if they were to go the way of Stockowski, very few from the general public would be interested, and they would only lose the hard-core early music geeks.

Similarly in modern music, which, far from being a collection of dead-end "isms", which was never as much of a problem in music as in painting, is thriving and actually drawing people to concerts. The problem is that it is the same small group of people. Sometimes someone will wander in because of an ensemble's collaboration with a particular pop musician, and sometimes those people will stay, and eventually get bored with the pop performer.

However, that being said, there are two major, thriving music organizations in the Bay Area that consistantly bring in audiences for all sorts of music, from early music to mid-twentieth century serialism, to whatever is brewing at the moment: The San Francisco Symphony and the Oakland East Bay Symphony.

I have even encountered people who swear that they hate modernist music enjoying some pretty abstract stuff.

I don't think that Stockhausen is over-intellectualized, rather he is dense and requires hyper-educated listeners, which are out there. In fact his most difficult stuff is the stuff that wanders out of his rigorous approach into the realm of hippy-esque goofiness. That stuff, even I find unlistenable.

Then there is the case of John Cage, whose music always interests me far more than the theory behind it (which is terribly silly stuff). Sort of like Ornette Coleman, whose theory is incomprehensible, although his music is powerfully interesting stuff.

As to surrealism, are you familiar with the California Post Surrealists? They were an interesting bunch who were all in favor of the exploration of the subconscious, but wanted to structure it within a context of the rational mind. Definitely check out there painting.

At first I thought the Mohammedans were coming the their senses!

When I first saw the headline to this story, I thought, "wow! An Arak reactor. This could be fun. Maybe they are backing off on the idiotic prohibitionism, which is really unbecoming on anyone, especially a Mediterranean people, ESPECIALLY those who have great varietals that came from their land."

Of course, they aren't making a reactor that will produce Arak (tasty stuff, that arak), rather they are building a reactor in a town called Arak, eventually to build atomic weapons to force more people into Mohammedan deviltry and prohibition.

Alas, no arak. Too bad. Too bad.

Breakfast in Bed?

I was up late again last night, until about 1:30, working on a particularly difficult painting. By the time I stumbled to bed I was fairly exhausted, but in that very good way of knowing that you are tired from spending energy on something worthwhile, seeing progress happen, etc.

I can't say how long I was asleep, but it couldn't have been over fourty five minutes, Amalia climbs into the bed. Fine. Cold night, and all that. I don't even mind that she thinks that the most comfortable place on our bed is on my neck. However, not content to just sleep at, oh, 3 am, she asks how long before breakfast.

"Amalia. It is still the middle of the night. If you are going to stay here, lie down and get back to sleep."

"Which one of you is going to make breakfast?"

"AMALIA. Right now, neither of us. Go back to sleep!"

"OK. I'll make breakfast for us, then. What will you have?"

"AMALIA! Not now. One of us will make breakfast around 6:30. GO BACK TO SLEEP."

She sits there for a minute.

"I'm not sleepy."

"Then go play in your room. Or go to sleep."

At that point exhaustion totally overcame me, and I was not about to get worked up over such nonsense, so I went back to sleep. I guess Amalia finally went back to sleep, because when I got up to make breakfast she was asleep (on our bed).

Next time I am going to say, "fine, make breakfast for us, Amalia."

It would be interesting to see what she would come up with.

Borat

I have yet to see Borat, and, although I am looking forward to it, I will probably wait until it is out on video, as it is a rare thing for me to get out to a theater. In the meanwhile a friend told me about Ali G., which was where the Borat character came from. I just (on my way out to the studio, har har har, there goes half an hour) went to YouTube and checked him out. Sort of like Colbert, but over the top. Here he is with a very funny panel discussion on Animal Rights:

Made in Romania?

So, a half hour a go, as I was finishing my lunch, I felt something stuck to my beard. A sticker.

Well, that is not surprising, as Amalia loves stickers, and they seem to find their way everywhere.

However, this was not a sticker of a butterfly or a unicorn or any of the usual suspects, but rather a label that read, "Made in Romania."

Now, while it is true that I was in Romania as a little lad, I was not made in Romania, and, furthermore, I have no idea how long this sticker has been affixed to my beard. Was it there when I dropped Amalia off at school? Do all the other parents now think that I am some strange Romanian super-patriot. Do I now need to send out a press release saying that, while I have deep respect and a love for the Romanian people and their traditions, I can really only be considered Romanian in that my Italian and Austro-German ancestry share some common roots, centuries back, with the Romanians, and I apologize for any misunderstanding regarding my Romanianness (Romanianitas?)?

When I was in about the second grade and pretty fascinated with Dracula, I would love to have found a "Made in Romania" sticker. I would probably been insufferable, running around with my Lugosi Bela accent and fake teeth.

The so-called Triumph of the Moderates

If I read one more editorial announcing the mid-term election as a triumph of moderates, I am going to...what am I going to do? Drink? Hmmm. Depends on the time of day. Scream? Pointless, might wake the neighbors. Throw up? No, not into that sort of thing, but the last time I listened to sports talk radio it sure seemed to be popular among the listeners ("If the Brutes don't sign Jimmy, I am going to be so mad I am going to throw up."). Sit down at the computer and rant?

Bingo!

I would remind you that extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice! And let me remind you also that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue! -Barry Goldwater

I have this love-hate thing with Goldwater. On the one hand I admire his cojones, and his understanding that moderation is not some be-all, end-all. On the other hand, he was one of the pioneers of the Western "Conservatives" who hijacked conservatism (see Reagan, Ronald W.) and replaced it with the strange blend of libertarianism and highly selective sexual morality issues to produce the so-called neocons.

However, Goldwater's statement, with some modifications, is a good one. If we either remove the problematic term "liberty", which in the case of Goldwater is too saturated with the exaggerated concept of individual autonomy that his liberal ilk bow down to, or make sure that we are endorsing a thoroughly Catholic understanding of Liberty, then it is fine.

What is better is if we replace "liberty" with "the Good, the True, and the Beautiful."

Extremism in the pursuit of the Good, the True and the Beautiful is no vice. Moderation in the pursuit of Holiness is no virtue.

It could be a, dare I say it, bumper sticker!

Instead we get moderate left-liberal milquetoasts and moderate right-liberal milquetoasts wringing their hands over "these ex-treeeeem-ists."

Oh, yes, we know. If only these moderates would have control of everything, and these ex-treeeeem-ists, who are really just selfish because they won't compromise THEIR truths, then the world would be one big bubble bath of peace and free markets (and, whoa! without these ex-treeeeem-ists mucking things up, we could probably even sell people and people parts on the free market. Think of the profits).

Ah, gotta love the lukewarm. Despised by both Heaven and Hell.

An interesting musical ear test

Here is a nifty online test that lets you tell how good your ear is. If the samples changed, it would be interesting to repeat this test at various hours of the day (and before and after meals, coffee, etc.). I have always thought that my ear was best in the mornings and late at night. Theory lab was always most difficult in the afternoon, especially after lunch on a warm day.

Anyway, on this afternoon, after a big lunch in a warm kitchen, I got 86.1%, which is acceptible, considering that I have not done any sort of critical listening for awhile (although I have a couple of CDs that I should review, so things like this are a good warm up). I am going to wait a couple of days, and then will try this again at an hour that I have always thought my ears worked best at.

If you do this and want to do the experiment that I am doing, wait a couple of days before repeats and note the hour, food, caffeine, alcohol, and medication consumption. Should you wish to post this information anonymously, in the comments box, that would be fine, and I will put everything in a spreadsheet and see if there are any interesting conclusions.

For others who want to track and manipulate the data themselves, here is mine from this test:

86.1% November 15, 12:30pm, following a big lunch (meat and carbs). Had two shots of espresso at 7am, so I am two shots lower than usual at this time of day.

Arthur and Lucia K. Matthews

This weekend I got a chance to see the Arthur and Lucia K. Matthews show at the Oakland Museum of California. It is excellent, and a must visit exhibit for anyone interested in Bay Area Art. These early twentieth century tonalist paintings were derided by the Society of Six as "tobacco juice art," yet there is something very fitting to their subdued hues and misty atmospheres. More times than not I look out my window and it is a tonalist painting. Sometimes, yes, it is more along the lines of a Seldon Giles, but rarely in the summer.

The funny thing is that when time passes it is easier to see similarities between rival styles of the same era. So, from the tonalists it is not a far chasm, bridged by August Gay, to get to the Society of Six. And, when Louis Siegriest started doing his abstract gypsum and asphalt paintings (amazing little works, many of which can be found in San Francisco's Triangle Gallery), the whole thing went full circle.

Anyway, I need to see the show again, after which I can consider writing a real review, but if you are in the Bay Area, or even passing through the Bay Area, this is a show to see.

Why emailing is better than dealing with people face to face...or maybe not.

I belong to a couple of email discussion groups. There are some personalities that sometimes make discussion a bit difficult. Sometimes, like this morning, I have an urge to write back, "you moron, you moron, you moron, you moron, you moron!" and then a stream of curse words.

I resist, and yet I wonder if I would be able to resist if they were sitting accross from me, uttering such balderdash. Then I have to think, "would they still say the daft crap they do, if they could not do it in the privacy of their own basements?"

Probably not.

But even then, these sort of people would probably still be stuck in their basements, getting even stranger. So, in the long run the internet is a good thing, because it gives these dementos some small sort of social interaction.

My first experience with internet pests was on a Music Theory listserv. There was a grad student (the worst always are) who had something (and yet, strangely enough, nothing) to say on everything. When you would have had enough and would send her a mildly biting email, she would go ballistic and threaten doom and gloom and the wrath of the list manager. Eventually several of us had an informal Anti-Theresa M. Society (anyone who was on the Music Theory Listserv in the mid-1990's will know exactly who I am talking about) that was quite a fun second thread, where we would discuss the topics at hand when the main list was clogged with Miss M.'s nattering.

Now, I have never met the aforementioned M. in person, and perhaps those who know her will testify to a smart, talented, personable sort. Frankly I doubt it. My guess is that her colleagues all hate her, her professors tolerated her only insofar as they could use her for grunt work, and that undergraduates who had to suffer under her dropped her classes at the slightest valid excuse. So, her only social outlet was the internet, with the rest of us drafted as unwilling and unwanted social skills coaches (and that is a gas! Me, giving advice to folks on how to get along with people: speak as loudly in German as you want and carry a howitzer).

Perhaps without that outlet she would have turned into a vampire.

OK, Now it is Getting Silly

At first, I thought it was amusing that someone googled "Was Ed Bradley a Homosexual" and it brought them to this site. However, I have been getting quite a few of these, and I have to ask: who cares? He's dead. He ain't gonna marry you, no matter if you are a boy or a girl.

Sheesh. Find something more interesting to fixate on, like the time of day that St. Francis received the stigmata or the pH of tamarind or how exactly does Mop and Glo work so well.

Maybe I am missing something about the fascination with Ed Bradley, because I don't know him from Adam and could not really say that I have much memory of his on-air persona. I hated 60 Minutes because it was nefarious trash and avoided it like the plague. Was Bradley ambiguous on the show?

Strange.

Every so often I think that I should watch more television, just so I can know what these people are talking about, but it never seems to work out.

The Silver Lining has a Silver Lining!

Not only are the loathed Niners going to go away, but the collapse of the whole new stadium proposal means that San Francisco is withdrawing its bid for the Summer Olympics. As regular readers know, my dislike of the Olympics has grown to, well, Olympian heights. So, if the silly games came to the Bay Area, we would be forced to put up with many hours and hours of delays, traffic snarls, business closures, etc., etc., just to have bragging rights over an event that should have been put out of its misery twenty years ago.

Los Angeles wants it, and I say, let it have a permanent home in Los Angeles. A perfect fit, if ever I saw one.

Neo-Megilp

Let me just say this to my artist readers: neo-megilp is just about the most fun thing to come into my studio in the last year (besides Amalia, who now has her painting setup next to mine). I am just starting to explore its potential, and will probably never use conventional glazing medium again. This stuff is GREAT!

I used to read about the original megilp, and it always came along with words like "forbidden" or "disaster" and I thought, "what was the appeal of this stuff?" Texture and luminosity. The problem with the original stuff is that it darkened and cracked. Gamblin has formulated a substitute that is based on synthetic resins, so it will stay flexible and clear.

My big question is: do I need to pay as much attention to fat over lean when using this, and, if so, does stand oil work better than regular linseed oil for fattening up subsequent layers?

Also, do any of my readers have any experience with using Gamblin's traditional gesso on panels for oil paints instead of tempera? Do you have to add rabbit skin glue if you are going to do this? I have been getting conflicting answers from the literature.

Really Bad Blog Spam

As many of you know, I fight a daily battle against spam robots who attempt to post an average of about 150 spam comments on the site. Most of them, these days, are for ringtones. Free ringtones. I don't get it, but there seems to be no offense beyond the nuisance factor of spam itself (unless there is something behind it that is nefarious, but I am not about to click on the thing to find out).

However, once in awhile I will get a slew of really raunchy, nasty things, things which, were they to actually be available, would be illegal. I am guessing that the majority of these sites are coming out of Russia and other third world places where there is not much regulation of these matters.

So, do any of my internet whizz readers know if there is any point in alerting any law enforcement authorities of this stuff, or would I be wasting my time. Also, which agency would be the ones to handle this sort of thing? FTC?

Beautiful!

I love stuff like this.

Search engine requests...

"Ed Bradley was he a homosexual" brought someone to this site.

I have to say that I wondered the same thing, for two reasons:

1. He was getting absolutely unqualified praise in the mainstream media, something that frequently signals that one is dealing with a poofter.

2. That earring. God Lord, Mr. Bradley, you were 65 years old.

So, the answer is, I don't know, and, frankly I don't care. If he was, I hope he repented of it. Either way, I hope he repented of 60 Minutes.

Right move, wrong reason

While I completely support abolishing the Pledge of Allegiance, the last reason is because of the "under God" phrase, just about the only part of the damn thing that I don't object to.

I have not said the Pledge for at least twenty years. When I am at meetings of civic organizations that do say it, I just stand silently. While I don't approve of anyone saying such a fetishistic, idolatrous thing, I leave it to them to do it or not, especially since it is such a minor thing.

Anyway, although they cite the "under God" business, I support this college. I would also like to see the elimination of the "Star Spreckled Banner" before sporting events.

Let's replace it with "Salve Regina" or something real.

Picking on the South... and your daily Dellums Watch

Over on Mark Shea's blog I read this story of Suthruners griping that the Big Bad Northern Libruls are making fun of them already. Some New York politico says "well, Mississippi gets more than its share of federal funding, but who wants to live in Mississippi?"

Fair question. Here in Oakland we have tons of people who DID live in Mississippi, aked themselves the same question, and up and left.

I have often said the same about West Virginia (Byrdland?), and the same holds true for just about any of the miserable holes on the other side of Lake Tahoe. In fact, I generally apply it to the Northeast, too (New England makes me buggy in a way that the South doesn't).

Look, of all the provinces of the confederation, the Southern ones are the most interesting (in that, well, if I can't live in California sort of way). However, these Southerners sound a little less than men whining about snide New Yorkers. After all, say what you want about Southern corruption: New Yorkers will be saying "Governor Spitzer." Frankly, I'd rather have Ron Dellums (pht! sptl!pfffthat!).

Speaking of Ron Dellums (pht! sptl! pfffthat!), there was a picture of him on the front page of the paper yesterday. He was surrounded by victorious Democrats. Going even beyond that irritating "how sweet it is" face that he has sported around here, Dellums is looking positively ecstatic, in the way that a dessicated cadaver can look ecstatic, with his face turned up, his eyes rolling to Heaven, and his hands folded in prayer: oh, yes, Ron, "thank God for the Democrat victories."

No, Ron, your master is down below.

Anyway, not wanting to hold ill-will towards the man, let's pray ourselves:

Lord, please bring about the conversion of Ron Dellums, may he repent of his sins, join the Catholic Church, gain a plenary indulgence, and have a happy death. May he go to Heaven and meet you face to face. In your time, Lord, but we wouldn't holler if you aimed for the sooner rather than the later. Amen.

I can think of places around here where they might do this...

Trouble is, the tax collection technique outlined here would hardly outrage anyone in the areas where they would have a ready labor pool.

Of course it is good to know that Tom Ammiano has a potential career when he retires.

Ed Bradley, RIP

OK. Maybe Ed Bradley was a real gent. I have no idea, never met him.

However, calling him a "news giant" and a "reporters' reporter" when he has been on 60 Minutes for the last 26 or so years, tells us much more about reporters and television news than it does about Ed Bradley.

If 60 Minutes is great journalism, then bring on supression of the press!

EDITED TO ADD: Note to Keilholtz (writer): "supression" would be what word, exactly? I am having trouble figuring out even what word was begun before it changed horses midstream. -Keilhotlz (editor)

PS I am leaving this abomination in the entry to humiliate you into doing a better job of reading what you post

PPS I am also leaving my own mispelling of my name, for similar reasons

Nerds and Dorks

It just struck me that I know the difference between a nerd and a dork.

If the person you are talking to uses The Lord of the Rings in a political discussion, you are dealing with a nerd.

If he uses Dune in a political discussion, you are dealing with a dork.

Any other sure-fire signs?

Professional Sports

I like watching sports for a number of reasons: the poetry in motion of a well-tuned and well-trained athlete is a concrete example off the Good, the True and the Beautiful; the drama of the contest between the cities is a positive and healthy manifestation of human competition; complimentarily, the social cohesion formed around a team is a postitive and healthy manifestation of the tribe instinct; the statistical patterning in a sport like baseball is an interesting manifestation of the musical arts; and there is not a sport out there that does not stand as an open invitation to drink beer.

These are all good things, although each one of these aspects is periodically assaulted by various nefarious forces: the healthy manifestation of competition and tribalism becomes a bestial parody in the hands of some Raiders' fans; the invitation to drink beer is thwarted at the hands of neo-Puritans on campuses who ban its sale in the stadia; etc.

The biggest destroyer of the Good, the True and the Beautiful in sports, however, are the team owners.

Here in the Bay Area (as well as in Sacramento), the team ownership of the A's, the Raiders, the FairyNiners, and the Kings, are currently or have recently played games with their host cities to try to wrest public financing of arenas at little cost to the teams' organizations themselves.

I say, if you want socialized sports, fine. I can get behind that completely. Let the cities own their own teams, or make the teams be publicly traded among bonafide residents of the cities' metro areas. It is for this reason that I remain a Packers' fan. The team doesn't go threatening to move to Las Vegas every four years.

Barring some sort of major overhaul to the nature of professional sports, my second choice would be for all of the Bay Area's teams, excluding the Giants, to leave. Go Away. Move to Timbuktu. I don't care. In terms of economic benefit, professional sports are a wash at best. When the strains they put on the communities are really measured (traffic, police, etc.), my guess is that most (not all) teams are a complete drain on their host cities.

Now, I also include this desire for the teams to vanish to extend to major college sports. Last Saturday we were in Berkeley, and it made me appreciate going to a school without football. We had swimming, tennis, even basketball (I think, although I never went to a game), lacrosse, and all of those other minor sports, which is great. In fact, I would probably pare it down even further in scope.

Today we read in the paper that the FairyNiners are going to move away. Good riddance. Obviously, this is a best case scenario for me, as I despise that team. I would probably be a little (not much, though), less jubilant if it were the A's, a team I like. But for the FairyNiners to move to Santa Clara (even better would be San Jose, Los Angeles' little colony in the North) is like a dream come true. Now I can loathe them with a completely clear conscience, not feeling the least bit like I am betraying the Great City of St. Francis.

The FairyNiners are moving to Perugia, as it were, and the Bay Area can rejoice that we are rid of their lame-ass, losing, Mormon-promoting ways!

Alas, Poor Rummy...

Rumsfeld should have been let go two years ago, at the latest. It's too bad they waited til after Halloween, because he would have had an easy time getting a gig haunting houses.

Ugh. Politics Junkies Love/Hate Election Nights

I can't wait until the Keilholtz Dictatorship. Elections will be easy. I will sit down, decide who gets what job, what laws are to be made, and we can all go to bed.

Nearly 2am! I may have to wait until the morning news to get the final results.

My Concession Speech

I am almost convinced that I only got one vote for Governor of California.

With that in mind, I am conceding to Governor Adolf von Kennedy, who has obviously won the election. It could have been worse. By a little.

My people want him? They've got him. Idjits.

It looks like Prop 85, which would require that minors get the same consent required for them to get an aspirin in order to get a surgical abortion, is also going down.

Fellow Californians, move to higher ground and watch out for fault-lines, because any disaster we get will be well deserved. But the infrastructure bonds are passing, so maybe a few more will weather it all. Unless you think that God will not be deterred by a few levees.

The only silver lining is that the tobacco tax seems to be going down as well.

Anyway, you've got four more years of that ape in Sacramento (and I won't even get into the 84% of fellow Alamedans who voted for Babs Lee. Ron Dellums must have that "ain't it sweet" look on his mug right now.

Bah.

Santorum...

Oh Rick, maybe you can go knock on Spector's door and ask for a job. He probably needs a good coffee boy in his office. Maybe you could use a little burnt umber on your nose. It would look good.

Tee hee hee.

Chickens.
Home.
Roosting.

As my friend said, "hey, at least he can work on his MacArthur Genius Fellowship."

Har. har. har.

I hate to pick on Catholic politicos, particularly pro-life ones, but he lost that card in '04. Therefore he is nothing but another Pelosi in my book, and that means (like I said, it is hard to cast away my residual Stalinism) bayonet him first, as treacherous allies are worse than venemous enemies.

"Party man, Party man, It never felt so bad to be a Party man!"

As to New York, that %$#%$(^ Spitzer is now governor, giving me one more reason to avoid the state. Too bad, as I am dying to see the MOMA. Oh well, plenty of good art in the rest of the world.

The Big Apple is Rotten to the Core

In New York City it is illegal to smoke in bars, but your official gender is a matter of personal preference.

2006 California Voter's Guide

Here are my endorsements for the California 2006 General Election

Governor: Write-in Erik Keilholtz
Lieutenant Governor: Tom McClintock
Secretary of State: Bruce McPherson
State Controller: Tony Strickland
State Treasurere: Claude Parrish
Attorney General: Chuck Poochigian
Insurance Commissionaer: Steve Poizner
Member, State Board of Equalization, 1st District: David J. Neighbors
United States Senator: Richard Mountjoy
United States Representative, Ninth Congressional District: John Dendulk
Sixteenth State Assembly District: Write-in Erik Keilholtz
Judicial: Vote No on all candidates
Superior Court Judge, Office #21: No endorsement
City of Oakland, District 2 City Council: Patricia Kernighan
Auditor: Roland Smith
AC Transit District: Rebecca Kaplan

Ballot measures

1A - Transportation bonds: Yes
1B - Transportation bonds: Yes
1C - Housing Give-away: No
1D - Education Bonds: Yes
1E - Disaster Preparedness Infrastructure Bond: Yes
83 - Sex offender monitoring: Yes
84 - Water Quality pork: No
85 - Waiting Period and Parental Notification of Abortion: Yes
86 - Tobacco tax, Hospital pork and Medical Industry Monopoly protection: No
87 - Oil tax: No
88 - Education funding through $50 per parcel property tax hike: Yes
89 - Pseudo-reform of election financing: No
90 - Libertarian land policy nonsense: No

City of Oakland

Measure M - Removes arbitrary standards for Police and Fire retirement fund investing: Yes
Measure N - Library Bonds: Yes
Measure O - Ron Dellums Machine Power Grab: No

Immigration and the War

As I have said many times before, so it should not shock anyone, I am a bit of a bigot. I hold to double standards, because, well, cultures vary and some are better than others.

Therefore, please do not construe my dismay against the Southern Border Wall (or the Anti-Laborer Protective Barrier) as a blanket ban on ALL border walls (although I may have stated that exact thing earlier, it was just for rhetorical effect). Likewise, when I say that I am pro-immigrant, please don't think that I welcome ALL immigrants to our land.

For instance, I would be entirely happy if David Frum were deported and a wall with towers and raked sand were erected between the US and Canada (so long as it had one way gates to accomodate the tanks when we finally invade).

Seriously, though, reading the neo(pseudo)-cons falling apart at the seams is a great joy. These twits, with their joyful spreading of liberal democracy and unlimited markets, have hijacked conservatism in the West, and watching them squirm is pure entertainment.

See how they set up their president!
See how they praise their president!
That president Bush, he's a good, decent man who goes to war for morals!
See how the war drags on!
Drag on, War, drag on!
Mission Accomplished!
See how the one secular Arab state is now becoming two Mohammedan states!
Hey! Who passed the law of unintended consequences?
Don't Blame ME! I never said we should do it THIS way!
See how they blame their president when their plans did not work!

The Neo(pseudo) Cons: They did it their way (and cried afterwards).

Remember the first Yuppies? They were in their thirties. They had gotten over their hippy days. They were really into Ron Reagan. The women wore monstrous clothes and big hair, and the men had really skinny ties. It was fashionable for restaurants to paint their walls pink and green and serve "cajun" food, which meant they burnt the catfish and dipped it in pure cayenne. Then they switched to Asian fusion, but I digress.

The yuppies sat in those restaurants and sipped white zinfandel (oh how sophisticated it all seemed), listened to jazz fusion and got into all sorts of mischief: jogging, bottled water, anti-smoking, cocaine (oops, that wasn't supposed to be on the program, but, hey it made you feel so POWERFUL! it was hard to believe that Reagan wasn't really for the stuff deep down), etc.

Where was I going with this little jog down memory treadmill?

Oh yes, the rise of the neo (pseudo) cons.

Anyway, it was in this era, the culmination of thirty years of bad popular culture and boomer degeneracy, that Ron Reagan pulled a Goldwater and stole the term Conservative. He was never a conservative, except in a vague emotional sense. Without the very real menace of International Communism, the neo-cons would have been laughed off the page.

Once again we have a real menace, or two real menaces: Mohammedanism and Liberalism. The neocons have (sort of) gone to battle against the former, but only insofar as the former gets in the way of the latter.

In our culture, we can forget about defeating the Mohammedans until we have first defeated the Liberals, and that means both the left and the right side of the Liberal movement.

The neo(pseudo) cons are the bigger enemy.

Tomorrow you will go to the polls. Remember that there are almost as few genuinely pro-life Republicans as there are pro-life Democrats.

GOP apologists will say, "oh no, there is a substantial difference, it is all about the judges!" But they are whistling Dixie.

The true cause of the GOP is free markets. If there is a good market for embryos, the GOP will soften its pro-life position.

I would never say Vote Democrat (as it is I will probably be voting mostly for Republicans, just because our California Democrats represent the crust from Satan's armpits), and the Falange is not yet ready for 2006, but get ready to start weaning yourself from your GOP habit.

As to the California voting guide:

Yes on 85 (obvious)
No on 86 (even if you are in favor of outlandish tobacco taxes, which you shouldn't be, this is a bad measure designed as a cash and power grab by a couple of major hospital chains)

The rest will come tonight, so before you vote, come onto Erik's Rants and Recipes and print out your voters' guide to take into the polls.

Dino Saluzzi

There have been two times when I have been driving and heard music on the radio that was so engaging that I had to just pull over and listen. The second time was late at night. I was driving home from the music building where I had been practicing the harpsichord for several hours. I had the classical radio station on and heard this piano music that was otherworldly.

Now, I was probably in the throes of my most vehement anti-piano period. I switched from piano to harpsichord after my teacher had been unfairly fired by the university (also, I was getting more and more into the baroque, which I could never really love on the piano), and was living with a bunch of Romantics (a string quartet that played way too much Brahms). My tolerance for nineteenth century bluster was low, and the piano epitomized nineteenth century bluster, particularly the overheated flash and dazzle from Franz Liszt.

But this music on the radio station was something else. It was spare and subtle, with hints of Wagnerian harmony, yet without Wagner's overblown Teutonicism. I pulled the car over and just listened.

After the piece was over they announced it as a late Franz Liszt piece. I had known from music history classes, that Liszt had become quite religious and contemplative in his old age, but I had never heard this.

I excitedly drove home and saw the cellist in the dining room.

"I just heard this amazing late Franz Liszt music," I stammered out, "it was the most amazing piano music I had ever heard!"

"Ah," he replied, "that was probably 'The Lugubrious Gondola.' Yeah, that stuff is beautiful."

"You mean you knew about this stuff and didn't tell me about it?"

"Why would I? You hate Liszt."

"But if I had heard this, there is no way I could have hated it."

The other time I had to pull over just to listen to a piece of music was in Sacramento, on a summer evening. I was driving downtown and KXJZ played something unlike anything I had ever heard. I could recognize the bandoneon because I had just been turned on to Astor Piazzola, and definitely got the Argentinian vibe from it.

It turned out to be Dino Saluzzi's Mojotoro, which I bought immediately. I have listened to that album many times, in fact if pressed I could probably sit down with some manuscript paper and write it down from memory. Yet I am nowhere near tired of that album.

For the last couple of days I have been loading music into the iTunes and realized, with shock and horror, that I had not put any Dino Saluzzi into it. So, I walked over to the ECM section of my library (with few exceptions, I can't come up with any category beyond ECM for this stuff) and grabbed Mojotoro as well as Responsorium, the former for obvious reasons, and the latter because I was working on building playlists that feature free reed instruments, and Responsorium features Saluzzi accompanied only by bassist Palle Danielsson and his sone Jose Maria Saluzzi on guitar.

While loading the two discs into iTunes, I gave Responsorium a listen, which I had not done that often because it is a disc that requires engaged, active listening. You cannot drive or read or have a conversation with this in the background. You either totally miss the music or you end up driving into a building.

Listening to Responsorium made me realize that this is just as good a record as Mojotoro, in fact, it might be better. Looking on Amazon.com I see that there are a few Dino Saluzzi discs out there that I don't have, a situation that might have to be corrected somewhat soon.

Anyway, with the weather turning cold, sitting and following richly expressive and inventive melodic lines on a bandoneon sounds pretty good, and I can think of no better bandoneon player to listen to than Saluzzi.

Saddam

While I certainly endorsed the death penalty for Saddam Hussein, now that it has been delivered by a mockery of a judicial procedure, I am completely opposed to it. When he was caught he should have been thoroughly interrogated (sans torture, natch), then had a secret military hearing and executed by firing squad.

Instead the whole rule of law is being mocked by this trial (which is to be expected in a land where we have forbidden the people with any administrative experience from having the slightest participation in the new government).

Saddam is a bad guy, but he was the just about the best leader the Arab world had to offer. Right now, the best way to extract ourselves from the situation is to completely dump the GOP (and not for the Democrats, rather for the Falange), apologize for the transgressions of the liberal democrats (lowercase "d"), show our good intentions by sending all of them to work camps, rescue Saddam and put him in charge of a Sunni Arab state, keep the Shiite areas independent, and get our troops out of there. Let the Mohammedans fight nicely amongst themselves.

Ramsey Clark could be our ambassador to the area.

Free Press, Free Elections, Bah Humbug

When elections degenerate to the point of the candidates accusing each other of various degrees of insensitivity, it is time to scrap the whole thing. What is even more maddening is when the charges of
"hypocricy" are thrown around.

This, of course, brings me to the case of Haggard (not Merle, although God knows he has had his share of scandals). As any of my readers know, I consider Protestantism a devilish disease, and Protestant heresiarchs worthy of harsh punishments.

However, I take no joy in watching this nonsense about whether or not Haggard was doing really foul things with a homosexual prostitute, or whether he was just buying his meth from him. I want to see a Prottie heresiarch leave his job because he finds Truth. I want him to say, "I am sick of pretending to be the Pope. I want to be part of the Church Christ founded."

I especially don't want to see the charges coming from a homosexual prostitute and drug dealer whose newfound sense of the common good just forces him to breach client confidentiality (what ever happened to honor among thieves? I guess it does not apply to sodomitical dope pushers) a week before an election where Haggard has been working for a ballot measure.

What is worse is that these charges are being taken seriously as part of the dialog of ideas.

Whoever said that Democracy is the system where the voters get what they deserve (along with Menken's addition that they get it good and hard) is right, although the idea is not often enough seen to its fulfillment: the bad results will happen in the poorly selected administration, sure, but ultimately the center will not hold, and I don't want to hear any whining when the Authoritarian Restoration takes over.

You people had your chance, and blew it worrying about Allen's macaca, Haggard's sodomitical meth salesman, and on and on and on.

In Oakland I am designing a T-Shirt that says "He's Not My Mayor."

Perhaps I should change it to "It's Not My Liberal Democracy."

The Macaca from Virginia

Yes, I know, I should put out my election guide to let my minions know who to vote for.

Instead, here I go sticking my nose into the business of the Province of Virginia.

If you Virginians don't like it, tough. California eats little territories like yours for breakfast and poops them out before taking on real states for lunch.

Allen v. Webb.

What's the deal? Are they trying to out pansy each other? If either one of them get any softer, they could run for San Francisco Board of Supervisors.

Let's see. We have George Allen, the "conservative" divorcee. He has some little fellow named S.R. Sidarth hanging around, undoubtedly making innappropriate noises and all the stuff that toadies of one polititian do to the opponent. I oughta know. I did that sort of stuff (and I plead the fifth as to which candidate it was for).

Anyway, little toadie staffers often act like monkeys. If they so happen to be smallish and monkey acting, well, being called "macaca" just comes with the territory.

Instead, Allen is climbing all over himself trying to show how egalitarian he is. I suppose he is going to donate some large sum to monkey habitat preservation or some such thing, as that is generally what "contrite" public figures do.

But that is not enough for Allen, who now is trying to paint Webb as insensitive to women, who swings his purse back at Allen by saying "no, it's you whose inthenthitive!"

I say, they deserve each other as eternal bunkmates. And if the people of Virginia elect either one, I will tolerate no more pointing out the goofiness of California from the Virginians (especially since, as I have said before, any bad idea in California will be followed three years later in your state).

Praying for the Dead, Purgatory, and Praying for Death

Obviously today is the day that we pray for the Church Suffering, the souls who will eventually attain the Beatific Vision, yet must undergo the torments necessary to preserve justice and to free them from attachment to sins.

If you have ever watched a cooking pot be made kosher, you will get some idea of what these souls are going through. The pot is thoroughly gone over with a blowtorch so that any trace amounts of traif are incinerated.

So, yes, you repented of whatever sin you did, but there is still a part of you that remembers with fondness how fun it was. Get ready for a scorcher...

Until...

Someone prays for you.

The worst pain on Earth is easier than the lightest pain in Purgatory (which Fr. Zak reminded us of yesterday - did I mention what a great priest Fr. Zak is? How often do you hear of such things at St. Spaceships?), so it is entirely fit to pray for people to die repented of their sins and cleansed of their attachment to those sins. Ultimately we are praying for the people to be what they were created to be, which is, quite frankly, awesome almost to the point of being beyond our fallen comprehension or even imagination.

So, we pray for people to have a happy death. We never want to be like Hamlet, who refrained from killing his uncle after his uncle went to confession, because he wanted to send him to Hell. We may have enemies. If we are doing something right, we will certainly have enemies. We must pray for them to have a happy death.

If our enemies are also enemies of the common good, we may even ask for God to grant them a happy death a little sooner, as well. In fact, I can think of no better thing for a person than to have a good confession, receive a plenary indulgence, and then to die before having a chance to muck it all up again.

So, if you want to do a good turn, pray for the dear departed. Pray for the not-so-dear departed. And pray that R.D. repents of his sins, embraces the Catholic Church, receives absolution and a plenary indulgence, and returns to the embrace of Our Lord post haste. Amen.

My Solution....

Reading this makes me think that the obvious solution is just to not translate it. Why cause all of this worry over translations into a liturgically ugly language anyway? I am not entirely convinced that He came to save the Saxons anyway, so why bother with their language in liturgy?

Yes, I am kidding. As much as I find Anlgo culture reprehensible, the Angloes are people in need of salvation, and capable of being saved. Shucks, I don't even think that they should be kept as slaves. At least not forever.