Hmmm

Every so often I think I am going to post a tribute to a few of my favorite off-color words. But then I think, "no, women and children read this blog, so I probably should not do that."

But then I think, when I have just used one of those, shall we say, nautical expressions, usually when driving, "hey, that really is a wonderful word. I have mountains to say about it. I really ought to..."

So, as of now I am leaving it at that. Perhaps if I do one of these posts I will put the body of it in the extended entry, so those delicate ones can simply skip reading.

What think you, readers?

Search Engine Madness...

Someone found this here site with "Recipes from the 1980's."

Whoa, mack. That was the era of white zinfandel and insufferable Boomer yuppies strutting their Reagan-fueled egos. Wolfgang Puck rose to fame in the 1980's. Jeremiah Towers rose to fame in the 1980's. Restaurants were painted pink and green in earnest. Or black and gold. They thought that was a real class act, sort of like the 1920's, but with shoulder pads and big hair on the women.

Sure, there were some rumblings of good things to come: mainstream acceptance of sushi, ever increasing availability of decent patisserie and espresso, etc. But half the time if you found a decent restaurant they blew it by playing smooth jazz (still parading around as jazz fusion, like Miles would ever have tolerated that pap).

The best thing to come out of the 1980's, culturally, was John Chowning's frequency modulation synthesis (the DX-7, a great instrument whose potential was usually only scratched in spite of the fact that you can hardly escape it in music of that era). Foodwise, things were emerging, but you had to wait for things to really get going.

So, sorry, no 1980's recipes here.

Good luck.

The Spy Who Wouldn't Kill

I think I might write a little spy story for you. Nothing fancy. Not even that good, and predictable. Some people might get what it is that I am talking about, and not, therefore, need to ask a lot of questions. Others will know, and will be made curious. This will make them ask me more questions. Some will just shrug and say, "huh?"

A spy was sent by his government, a government that was on the right side, by the way, to kill a treacherous double agent. He was to do this by catching the treacherous double agent in the act of doing something terrible.

The spy had read the dossier and had no doubts that the agent had to die. He found easy access to the place where he was to do the killing. The guards were friendly, even helpful.

At the moment when the double agent was supposed to do something awful, something went right. So much so that the spy has to wonder about the accuracy of the dossier.

Could it be?

Anyway, the spy came out with the notion that perhaps not all of the dossiers at headquarters are all that reliable. He already knew that several of the dossiers were not that reliable, but he had never found a bad one in the ones he had been assigned.

In semi-but-not-really-related news, I was amused to see that one of the restaurants I had panned a few months ago has changed its name and had a face-lift. While I do not know if it still features the same lousy food, I would not be surprised if the kitchen had not gotten a shot in the arm as well.

Better a shot in the arm than a shot in the dark, I guess. Personally, I hate shots, but I love Peter Sellers movies. So there you go.

More Techno Distractions...

You know, I tend to ignore new technologies until the bugs are worked out, then when I discover them I don't have all of the irritation and disappointment of half-functioning technology. Podcasting, for instance. I knew about them when they first popped out, but I never bothered with listening to them (one, I hate books on tape, and this seemed at first to be an extension of that. Two, I never have time to listen to anything of any lenght except at home, when I am usually writing). So, today I downloaded the most recent version of iTunes, and explored the iTunes store.

Not wanting to spend any money, I was elated to find all of the free stuff in the podcast section. Cardinal Arinze. Classic radio drama. Videos of invasive bull frogs. This is almost as dangerous as when I discovered the Internet Archive.

So, instead of blogging I have been listening and watching neat stuff from iTunes.

Sorry.

Waterboarding

Is it just me, or does "waterboarding" sound like some silly "X-Treme" sport that is indulged in by people with too many piercings and tattoos?

"Dude, Tyler is the world Waterboarding Champion!"

Cool, Dude.

Of course anytime the neocons can turn something into a profit-making enterprise, you can expect to see it go mainstream, so I would not be entirely surprised if we were to see Waterboarding added to the Olympics.

The Nanny State and the Paternal State

Recently a couple of things have come up (actually three things) that have got me thinking about the proper role of the state in enforcing virtue:

1. Mohammedan jihadis blowing up restaurants during Ramadan
2. This Quatsch from Nurse Bloomberg's Nanny State
3. The recent billboard campaigns featuring a serious-looking nurse and the lines "Childhood obesity is no laughing matter" (honestly, in driving from the mechanic's shop this afternoon, I encountered four, in two languages. This is from 89th Ave to 13th Ave).

The first, the Mohammedans misbehaving strikes close to home, because I have long advocated the state outlawing the serving of meat in restaurants on Good Friday, and imposing all restaurants to close from noon to three pm. A Catholic state has the duty to impose this sort of law. What is the difference between this and the Mohammedans? First, and most importantly, we are right and they are wrong. If we are too gutless to say this, we deserve what we get from them.

Secondly, there is a question of proportionality. In the Keilholtz Dictatorship we will simply be talking about fines, perhaps a year, max, of hard labor, but only for repeat blasphemy cases. And everything must be done in the context of the rule of law, so if people have a real excuse they can ask for mercy from the Tribunal or even can appeal to the Prefect. Proportion. Due Process. Our side. Murderous, Erroneous Rashness. Their side.

Now, we have the issue of Trans Fat. Nasty stuff. I don't recommend eating it, too often. However, anyone who buys this sort of stuff is aware of what it is. If not, well, it might sound harsh, but give them a Darwin Award. You eat a Big Mac more than a few times a year, don't come whining to me when you feel lousy. I might just suggest that you go on a one year hard labor junket. But that would be for whining. Some of us eat a little trans fat (it goes great with cigarettes and martinis). We will probably live longer than these neo-puritans. And if we don't, so what? You live, you work, you suffer, you die. If you keep cheerful and do your Christian duty, well, then you will be saved. If you spend your time glumly worrying about what others are doing, and take inordinate care to avoid the dangerous stuff, and even more inordinate care to make others avoid the dangerous stuff, well, go to Hell. And I mean that with Love. Bloody Nanny.

The money quote, which is a perfect example of public ignorance is: "'Trans fat causes heart disease. Like lead in paint, artificial trans fat in food is invisible and dangerous, and it can be replaced,' New York City Health Commissioner Thomas Frieden said in a statement."

I know paint, and let me tell you, you cannot replace lead paint. Furthermore, because lead paint is ALWAYS oil based, the lead oxide particles are always fully encased in oil, which, when set is polymerized, the real risk of lead poisoning from house paint is very low. Never mind that, the official word is that lead paint is like kryptonite to Superman. You know, lead brought down the Roman Empire! Well, if that was so, then it also built it up, because lead was used in all sorts of things in Rome for many years.

My family has been in the printing industry for years. Guess who in that whole industry were known for their longevity? The linotype operators who worked with open pots of molten lead all day.

Am I saying that lead is good to eat? No. But if we are going to throw around lead as a toxin, we have to have at least a basic understanding of how toxic it is (dose) and we have to understand its chemical context.

Third. OK, little Tubby probably has an issue. Throw out the TV, stop using your welfare check to buy junkfood, quit whining. If he still has a problem at fourteen, guess what? A year of hard labor will trim him up. Is it transfat that has made him fat? Probably had more to do with the Bucket of Pop he had with his morning cereal. What event happened as America got fatter? Bingo! The Food Pyramid. Load up on them carbs!

Then we will get stern-looking actresses playing medicos to reinforce how important the medical industry is in keeping you from destroying yourself.

Big Nurse is Watching You!

When it comes down to it, the biggest health threat facing our citizens is the doctoring industry. You want to improve our health? Diminish the amount of health care we feel entitled to and we will quickly feel better.

Quit your whining. The other option is hard labor.

-Duce

Housekeeping in Cyberspace

I was looking for a recipe that I thought I had posted on the blog years ago. I could not find it, but did notice that every post from the old blogspot blog was still uncategorized. Oops. So I am slowly going through and titling them (the old blogger software did not have a title slot for posts, and when they were moved over here MT just took the first line. Dorky titles).

Not fun, but it should make the blog easier to do.

Don't say I don't do nothin' for youse people.

Pay Your Respects...

Now, you all know exactly where I stand on the man, so you know I mean no disrespect by this, but...

Could someone please translate the following into Spanish or English or some language I can understand?

iPod Randomizer Meme

Get your ipod or media-player of choice, select your whole music collection, set the thing to shuffle (i.e., randomized playback), then post the first ten songs that come out. No cheating, no matter how stupid it makes you feel! Maybe link the songs to online music stores for readers' convenience.

1.'Ntricciapedi by Alfredo Tenaglia, Domenico Rosica sr., Domenico Rosica jr. e Maurizio Valentini

2. Pizzica Tarantata from the compilation La Notte del Dio Che Balla

3. Ballade by Charlie Parker

4. El Ferrero by Medard Ferrero et ses clochards

5. Beginning of a Great Adventure by Lou Reed

6. Chifteli by Fratelli Mancuso

7. La guinguette a ferme ses volets by Damia

8. Afila El Colmillo by Titán & La Mala Rodríguez

9. In the Land of Zulus by Harry Belafonte and Miriam Makeba

10. L'Enjouee by Armand-Louis Couperin, played by Sophie Yates

And Finally...A Funny

This is it for the YouTube today. I was just recently introduced to the Red Green Show. Just about the funniest thing from Canada (besides their Politics, their notion of what constitutes "beer", and those lumberjacks). Here we go...

And...

For the girls...

Perhaps You Need Something A Bit More Modern?

Yes, it is true. The good part of an evening frittered away on You Tube. Anyway, if you don't enjoy this, part of your soul is missing...

And then for a little trip down Memory Autobahn (for those of us who have been heavily involved in electronic music, this is some great footage of the pioneers of synthpop)...

Pablo Hermoso de Mendoza

In twenty something seconds you will see why Pablo Hermosa de Mendoza is considered the best rejoneador alive (if not in history)...

And if you still have doubts:

For you traditionalists...

Perhaps Steve Jordan is too avant garde for you tejano fans out there. In that case I give you Valerio Longoria:

Let's Try This...

Steve Jordan is someone more people should know about. This little video should tell you why:

A Music Meme

via Ward Wide Web

Best Title for Music Piece: "Poeme Electronique" by Edgar Varese

Most underrated guitarist: Sandy Bull (those who know him, know how great he was, but, sadly, many don't know of him at all. Check out his Fantasias for Guitar and Banjo)

Music that moves me to tears: Allegri's "Miserere"

Most unusual lead-in for a piece of music: Dizzy Gillespie and James Moody's hilarious vocal improv at the beginning of the live recording of "Swing Low, Sweet Cadillac"

Coolest Name for a Rock Band: Kraftwerk

Worst genre of music: Most contemporary "neo-tonalism" which is air pudding that is conflated with grand sentimentality (imagine Aaron Copland, but even worse).

Best Guitar Jam: Does anyone have to ask this? "Free Bird" by Skynyrd

Music that's ever scared your kid: One of Mahler's Symphonies made Amalia say "ooh, that's scary music" but I don't think she was really scared, but just liked the heavy orchestration and somber harmonies.

National Anthem you love: "Deutschland Uber Alles" obviously. Who else has an anthem by Haydn?

I tag anyone who wishes to do this list.

And of course...

I should also point you in the direction of one of my long-time favorite food blogs: Chocolate and Zucchini.

Now, read away as I go off to the farmers' market. We might be at the very last week of outstanding tomatoes, and I don't want to miss a day of them. not when I am facing a nine-month dry spell where there will be no tomatoes.

At least with autumn we get all sorts of other lovely things to keep us happy when nature cruelly rips the tomatoes, peaches, and pluots out of my warm, alive fingers.

Speaking of seasonal food, if you are in Northern California, get your fishing equipment out, because the time is coming for some good, fresh fish.

Food blog

I just found out about Chez Pim, which seems to be a well-written, entertaining food blog. So, instead of griping that I am not posting enough recipes or food musings, go there and read away until I get back to writing about food in here (soon, I assure you).

Via Julie.

Painting in Two Directions

I am finding myself torn, not ideologically or aesthetically, but in terms of time, between two radically different styles of painting.

The thing is, the one that it less appealing to me (although not unappealing), is the easiest one. It is the way that I know when I go into the studio I have a good idea of where to go.

The other is what is far more interesting to me, and it is one of exploration of physical surfaces and structures. The problem with it is that it is so experimental that one painting looks completely different than the one before it.

So I push on, working on one side when the mood moves me, and the other at other times. Of course this results in two threads of painting, which are mutually exclusive in terms of marketing, and right now I need to focus on marketing (for instance, that website that still has not happened).

I have a feeling I will end up spending more time on the less marketable, but we will see.

Meanwhile, I have started a major reorganization of my studio, which should maximize my time in there (last week I spent an hour looking for something that should have been at easy reach).

So, for those who have asked, that is the scoop. Hopefully there will be a website with images in the next few months.

Straight From the Horse's Mouth...

Now, I am convinced that someday, after I am gone and the reigns of State are passed on to someone else, people will sit around on a special day called "Erik Was Right Day" and share stories of how they once doubted me, but then it turned out that they should have agreed with me.

"Remember that time in the late 1980's when Erik said that the Soviet Union was going to be a thing of the past very soon and we all thought that was crazy? Well, it turned out that Erik was Right!"

or

"Remember when Erik said that the whole dot com revolution was more hype than anything and that current and future gains in productivity were nowhere near high enough to justify the inflation on these stocks in the market? Wow. We thought that was pretty funny. Well, I wish I had never put any money in with that venture capital firm that funded toiletpaper.com. Erik was Right!"

or even

"Yeah, there was that time when Erik said that real estate prices were hyper inflated and that the bubble would inevitably burst, in spite of the fact that real estate pr firms kept saying that, contrary to all history, what we were seeing was something different and that normal conditions no longer applied. Man, I wish I didn't spend half a million on a dilapidated shed in West Oakland."

And of course there will be this one:

"Remember when Erik said that within our lifetimes Mohammedanism would cease to be a major religion? That it would be reduced to a quaint cult in the mountains with about as much relevance to the world stage as Zoroastrianism? Once again, Erik was Right!"

Anyway, as we witness the tail of the dinosaur twitching as the beast dies in fitful agony (stay away from that tail, it has spikes that curve like scimitars), the lie of "Moderate Islam" will peel away from the truth faster and faster. Now, a year or two ago when I said that, I got a few howls of indignation from typical compassionista liberals as well as from an indignant Mohammedan girl straight from Jihad Central Casting.

After all, Imam Bush told us that Mohammedanism is a religion of peace, and isn't he authorized to issue Grand Fatwas?

Well, I have said it before, and I will say it again: Moderate Mohammedanism is a fraud. It is either a lie to the outside world, to assuage our justifiable suspicions, or it is an internal lie to make a life of comfort and ease in the West seem compatible with the "evil and inhuman" faith of Mohammed.

And you know what? There are decent and honest Mohammedans out there who will admit as much.

And you know further what? I respect the ones who admit as much. To believe in what Mohammed taught and not be an extremist is to be the sort of mealy-mouthed loser who wants to hold hands and welcome the transgendered community to our faith community gathering place, blah blah blah.

Barry Goldwater, who was one of that rara avis, an honorable Liberal, almost got it right when he said, "Let me remind you that extremism in the pursuit of liberty is no vice. And also let me remind you that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue." His view of liberty was deeply flawed, but his understanding of certain basic truths was not.

Let me amend the words of the late, great Goldwater and remind you that extremism in the pursuit of Truth is no vice, and let me further remind you that moderation in the pursuit of the Good is no virtue.

In related news, in yesterday's cleaning, I found a box of foreign coins, including a handsome 5 peseta piece from Spain with a picture of Francisco Franco (may he be canonized soon) and the inscription "Francisco Franco Caudillo De Espana Por La G. De Dios 1957." I think I am going to frame it, alongside the other nifty coin I found, a Citta del Vaticano 200 lire piece with a portrait of "Ioannes Paulus II PM AN IX MCMLXXXVII" (may he also be canonized soon). This will remind me of my student days when I had photos of both men over my desk. I believe that I was the first Student Senate Chairman at UCSC to do so.

Someday, it will be the Feast of San Francisco Franco and some of you will be sitting around and suddenly something will pop into your mind:

Yes. Erik was Right.

It's Time Once Again For Crap Reduction

Sometimes I think of Crap Reductions (also known as Large Item Pickup Days courtesy of Alameda County Waste Management) as being exercises in weight loss: if you jettison 200 pounds of detritus in your garage you win. This time it was also a question of volume, so the eight broken chairs that I have not gotten around to fixing (mainly because the most fixable chairs are bloody uncomfortable when fully functioning, but also because IKEA has perfectly comfortable and generally well-designed chairs for a Jackson) win more points than simply their weight.

Of course many people see Large Item Pickup Days as Crap Acquisition Days (aka Holy Moly! Free Stuff!). It is amazing to watch the cars materialize out of nowhere (we aren't advertising). And, frankly, I am more than happy to see fixable and perfectly functioning yet obsolete stuff end up in good homes. For us this especially meant baby and toddler stuff that would not withstand another little one without significant work, which, when you calculate the time it would take, is probably not worth doing (how many hours to fix that mass-produced children's rocking chair that Amalia has outgrown? More than would justify keeping it, when another one could be had cheaply when needed).

Also, there were the small items that were white elephant gifts: tacky stuff from distant relatives that would not be worth the time to post on eBay and such like. Fortunately the demographics in our area jump on the frilly, overly gold stuff that folks assumed we needed (a silver-plated domed butter dish? For an olive-oil gobbling family of wops? Never used. Picked up within ten minutes of my setting it out there).

Of course the question that begs an answer is: how much of this stuff will appear in someone else's Crap Reduction Effort? It will, naturally, be picked up by a third scavenger, and the cycle goes on.

Anyway, I highly recommend getting rid of scads of junk. Remember: anything you no longer have will not need to go with you next time you move. That thought will make me sleep extra well tonight.

Very Funny

This is good, a quiz letting you decide what kind of Rad Trad you are.

Courtesy of Wavelet.

Oh quit whimpering you Infidels!

In typical fashion of Mohammedan cowardice we get all the usual whining and yammering, combined with hinted at threats. Honestly, one of the amusing things about reading nineteenth century orientalists is how consistent they are in describing the Mohammedan cultures as being plagued with the "Greek vice."

Mamma mia, boys. Grow up and act like you have a pair.

Funerals...

TSO talks about things that bother him about funerals. I understand his annoyance. Personally, I have given some long thought to what to do when I die:

1. If the priest suggests that I am already in Heaven (and thus not in need of any prayers), I will implore the Heavenly Father to allow me to sit bolt upright in the coffin, point to the well-meaning priest and say "you might just be next."

2. Black vestments, please.

3. All together now: Dies irae, dies illa...

4. When Herb Caen died, I drank a vodka martini in his honor. It cost fifty cents, as almost all of the bars in town had fifty cent martinis in his honor. It was the last vodka martini I have had. So, please. I am only asking this once, but drink gin. Just for one toast at least.

5. The priest should talk about confession. And Hell. He should remind the good folks gently about how long eternity is, and how wretched it would be to spend it in torment.

6. IF anyone dares play a guitar or piano at my funeral, I will grab his ankle during the burial and pull him into the grave with me.

7. Ornate, marble Etruscan sarcophogus is optional.

8. Black-shirted honor guard isn't.

9. No photographs of me in sight at the Church or the burial. Just leave the lid open until it is time to shut it. No squeamishness around corpses, you people.

You got that?

Ah, Oakland...

Last week we had terrible weather in the Bay Area. It started cold, grey and windy, and stayed that way...all day. Every day.

Yesterday Oakland hit its 100th homicide of the year.

A week ago our neighbor, Berkeley, hit its fourth of the year...it was a guy from Oakland involved in shady circumstances (deserted buildings at night and that sort of thing).

A few weeks ago, the week Oakland hit homicide number 83, Alameda, a short hop over the channel, had its first homicide since 2004.

The idiot leftist citizens of Oakland elected Ron Dellums to be the next mayor of Oakland. I am guessing that the homicide rate will double under his administration.

I have loved Oakland for many years, but it just might be time for a change.

No, nothing concrete, but feelers have been put out.

Did I mention that it was 80 degrees in Sacramento when we left at 8pm? Tree-lined streets, family, good Catholic schools.

Art, music, food, blah, blah, blah...

Yeah, all of those topics are supposed to be covered here. The thing is, we have been out a lot this summer, taking advantage of having more time to spend together than we may ever have again, and the fact that we are both sick and tired of the summer weather (or lack thereof) in the Bay Area.

Today was a great example. No sun. Fog in the morning. Fog in the afternoon. Fog in the evening.

Tomorrow we are back to Sacramento. Family reunion (that's a lot of Wops), the last warm days of the season, etc.

Art.

I know. I am an artist. I lecture about art. I write about art (rarely, it would seem). So, why have I not posted anything of substance about it for many a moon? Because I have been putting my energies into lectures, painting, and...well, here's part of the problem: I have not been getting out to see art that much recently, and it is not because there is nothing good to see. It has to do with running around volcanoes and fishing and all that.

When it comes down to it, I would rather look at volcanoes than paintings. Nothing against paintings, but when was the last time you saw a Rembrandt spew a fifteen mile long pumice and obsidian flow? Ever see one of those? It is like the moon with cool melted black glass and the occasional tree or wildflower. Better than Death Valley. Almost. You get a thirty year wildflower bloom in Death Valley, and nothing beats that.

Music.

No writing about music, except for the newspaper. Check out Arhoolie's latest old-timey offering. I will be reviewing it soon in a paper near you, if you live near one of the papers I write for.

Food.

Covered that. Kind of.

Fall is here. It is the best season for food, hands down. Tomatoes are great, squash and persimmons are just around the corner. Figs are great. Corn is good. Freestone peaches are good. Capsicum and eggplant are great. The weather is cool enough in the evenings (or bitterly, miserably damp and chilly for those of us suckers who live in the Bay Area) to enjoy a hearty cabernet...

Now's the time to roast pork. It's always time to roast pork, but right now you can stuff it with figs and balsamic onions when you roast it.

Your assignment: eat at least two BLTs a week while the tomatoes are great. Don't skimp: stick with organic, heirloom tomatoes. You can go back to eating wet styrofoam in November, if you must.

That is it for this update. Hopefully I will overdo the espresso tomorrow night and will blog up a storm. Or not.

Trout

Here's the deal:

There are many ways to cook rainbow trout that you have just pulled out of a lake or a stream. But why do anything other than gutting it, seasoning it with salt, pepper and olive oil and grilling it over a wood fire?

Serve with a sauvignon blanc and wild rice pilaf.

Or beer and wild rice pilaf.

Oops.

Have I been that negligent that the whole thing is blank?

Sorry.

Camping. Trout. More Later.