Formula 419 (part 7)

I used to do these 419 baitings with a friend, so I instinctively cc:ed him on these, but I wasn't sure if he was in on this one or not, so I stopped cc:ing him. Anyway, part of the fun of playing with 419ers is to abruptly stop, sending them into panic mode.

Unfortunately I did not let Joel know about this, so when Lisa emailed him, he responded, thus blowing my plan. Oh well, 419-baiting is an improvisational art, and this makes for a new twist. So, the first thing that Lisa sent, in a timely fashion was:

Hello ernie it was nice to read your email today,we cant offer the manager 500USD we have to offer him something big to make in sign for us we have enough funds so paying him so thousands would not be a problem to stop our business, so now we have to offer him some good thousands so he forgets about it and signs off and then we move so you can see that paying him some thousands wont affect us we have alot of funds to clear you know so lets pay him very well ok,for your visa you have to go to the SOUTH AFRICA EMBASSY in AMERICA and apply for a visa,now the problem is that the visa might take a little time to process but if you are going to the embassy you have to tell them you are going for holidays,so the wont suspect so take your time and see what we are going to do if the embassy will waste much time that means while you wait for the visa we then do a wire transfer for the manager so he can sign immediately so you have the tender documents sent to you but i hope the visa wont take time but the process might be long so think if a wire transfer is better first we do to the manager and you now wait for the visa,so you now have to decide how many thousands we have to offer him,and my country is not near suda so no need at all for a gun ok so the need now is a visa ok.

LISA

I ignored this, so I got the following, entitled WHAT IS THE STATUS (a favorite phrase of 419ers):

Hello ernie how are you today we are on weekend today ,how has it been with the visa what is the status you have not sent an email for sometime so i want to know what is the situation of things now so keep me informed ok.
LISA

Continuing to ignore her, she went into panic mode and wrote to Joel:

Joel Mielke,how are you doing please i have not heard from ernie since please forward me your contacts,ernie is meant to be in south africa this week but i have not heard from him what is wrong can you inform me on situation of things right now and send me your contacts immediately i expect that ernie will arrive but know news from him keep me updated.
LISA

To which he replied:

Lisa:

Joel

So, then we get to the email that Lisa sent to me before writing Joel, and my latest response (in the extended entry section):

hello ernie what is the problem know news from ou is all well,you have not sent your assistants resume what is delaying you.

Lisa, I am sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you. I was in the hospital these last few days, with some heart problems. Everything seems to be OK. I gather that you got in touch with Joel, and that is good, except he doesn't think that I should go to South Africa. He is well intentioned, but I think that he has some personal issues with South Africa, as that is where he is from. It is funny, he always has told me how pleasant a place it used to be, but I don't think he really knows if things are different or not, since he has not been back since he left in the 1990's. Anyway, I will be in touch with the South African embassy and will let you know what the status is. I am eager to meet you in person to carry out this good work.

Ernie

Open Letter to Bay Area Restaurateurs

Dear Restaurateur,

Notice is hearby given that if you serve me an inferior tomato between now and November 1 I will tear you to shreds in print, in front of my 500,000 readers. There is just no excuse for an underripe, tasteless tomato. About twice a week someone offers me baskets of good, vine ripe, often heirloom tomatoes FOR FREE! If I am particularly tomato crazy I will go to the farmers' markets and buy organic, vine-ripened heirloom tomatoes CHEAP (and this at retail prices!). You serve me something that resembles wet poly-packaging material I will upbraid you, I will skewer you, I will leave you gasping for breath in a muddy ditch, all to the general amusement of my readers. I don't care if you are a greasy spoon or a foodie shrine (although if you are a foodie shrine, like the venerable Oakland deli that served me slices of insipid tomato on an otherwise outstanding sandwich, I will make you regret the day that you ever put on a white coat), you will pay the price for your dishonorable doings.

For, from this day on, I am no longer just Erik Keilholtz, restaurant critic in several Bay Area daily newspapers, but Don Keilholtzi, Knight of the Fragrant Nightshade. I don my helmet of solid newsprint and, together with my trusty squire, the Fair Amalia, will ride into your castle to defend the honor and virtue of this glorious fruit. Now, if you will let me scrape the fresh mozzarella that is dripping from my helmet, due to the nefarious workings of some enchanter, I will ride my noble steed in the cause of Nightshade Errantry.

Yours,
Don Keilholtzi,
Knight of the Fragrant Nightshade and aforementioned restaurant critic of several daily newspapers in the Bay Area

Holy 419 (Part 6)

Well, it is good to know that 419ers can have perfectly tidious days. Sometimes I feel that way myself. If you think Ernie is a pain, just wait until you meet his assistant Jaap Van Roojen (who, unlike Ernie, is very familiar with South Africa, or should I say Sud Afrika). But beware: what Lisa doesn't know (and neither does Ernie) is that poor Ernie has a nasty heart condition. He might not make it through Labor Day. It depends. He might suddenly get interesting, which means that I let him live. It all depends. As usual, my response is in the Extended Entry section! Read on:

Hello ernie how are you i t was ouiet a tidious day,the manager was out for a meeting so i had some work to do,in your email you said about giving the manager 50$ thats would be an insult to him,as the bank manager he earns about 25,000USD apart from allowances,so now what do you think we give him,so he approves he is to sign off the funds ok,and now you have to land in johanesburg international airport thats the correct airport ok,so dont bother about bring a gun ok,is not necessary we have to make the manager sign ok,so what can we really offer him he came back very late to the office i told him you will be coming he said ok thats good so now we have to make out an amount to give him ok so i can talk to him ok,so ernie whats your aim lets decide and tell me if the have given you visa ok.Keep me informed immediately.
LISA

Lisa,

Wow! $25,000! I had no idea that anyone in Africa made that sort of money. I figured a well to do person probably made around $100 a week or so, nothing at all like $25,000. What does this man spend this kind of money on? Are there any real stores in Africa? Any Wal*Marts? Anyway, obviously we will need to offer him more money, probably as much as $500, although I urge you to please not be overly generous, for the man's own sake. One time I knew a man who came into a lot of money and did he invest it or use it for anything good? No. He used it all on gambling horses and whiskey. He is back to being a poor man, and all the good the money did was turn him into a drunk. Obviously there is something a little off about this manager, since he will be wanting a bribe, so we should not lead him too far down any path that might cause him to stumble and become a rummy or a womanizer or even a sodomite, because rum can lead to drugs and that could make him turn to a life of terrible disrepute and I would be ashamed and dismayed if that were to happen. So, let me know if $500 is good, because if it isn't, I suppose we can go higher, even to the thousands of dollars if we really have to, but I don't want to waste any money that does not need to be wasted. Of course I expect to be paid back from the fund for this and any expenses, which I am assuming you are OK with. Now about my trip, I am a little nervous about flying to Africa, because I have read all about Africa in the newspapers and how there are wars and diseases. Your town is not close to Sudan is it? I keep reading about Sudan and it sounds terrible. If you are close to Sudan I think I might insist on bringing a gun, although if your insurances are that it is not necessary, I think you are a trustworthy and riputable sort. Anyway I would love to see your country after we get the business taken care of, so please tell me what I should see afterward. You mention a visa, do I get that from the United Nations or from your government? Where do I go to get a visa or can I do it by mail (assuming that you have mail there in Africa)? Should I get my visa first before getting my airline ticket to Johanesberg International Airport. I also have to give you my assistant's information. He will not be joining me, as he has urgent work to do in the United States, but that will be fine, since this way if we decide we need to pay more money to the manager, he can wire it to me. But I think you wanted his information, so I will ask him to send it. I forgot to tell him to send it earlier. Sorry.

Keep me posted. Thank you,

Ernie

Starbucks and the Vending Machine

Oh, dear. Some folks, well one person, is worried that his change from vending machine coffee to Starbucks is part of a slippery slope to snobbishness. So, I don't know if this should reassure TSO or if it should make him want to put on some faster skis, since the ones he has aren't doing it. So I will be blunt:

If you are drinking Starbucks, you are still drinking coffee out of the vending machine, you are just paying too much for it.

Now, in spite of the fact that I recommend to everyone I meet in California that they consider the beauty and charm of Ohio, I have never been there, so it is entirely possible that there is nothing better than Starbucks in the state, but I doubt it. In the good old pre-Starbucks days I even found good espresso in Tennessee (and, yes, I did have an espresso machine, a coffee grinder, and a couple of pounds of beans in the car for those places where they were not up to standards). You had to look hard for it, and you sometimes had to suspend your disbelief (like the "antiques" store/ice cream shop with the super friendly servers in Nashville that made an incredible espresso).

So, my recommendation is to really take the plunge and find some little caffe, somewhere that makes a proper espresso (drip coffee is bad for the stomach and bad for the nerves) and stick to it.

Speaking of coffee, the other night in North Beach there was a party of four in front of me with foreign accents (one man sounded Jersey, the women may have been Southernesses). The fellow with the Jersey accent ordered four decaf "cappuccinoes". This was at night, mind you.

Later, of course, they climbed into a grotesquely large rental limo. Of course it all fit: cappuccino after 10am, decaf, tacky limo.

So, there you have it. Three rules that are fine rules:

1. No cappuccino after 10am.
2. Decaf coffee is a perversion and an abomination.
3. Don't ride in large, tacky limos. You will be confused for nineteen year old high school students from Hayward out on prom night.

She's Real Fine my 419 (Travel Prep Begins!)

This is a test of the emergency scam mark system. It is only a test. If it were a real emergency, some poor dodo would be preparing to go on a Vacation to Hell and some crooks in Africa would be drooling heavily. Tee hee hee. As usual Ernie's reply is in the extended entry. He is starting to show signs of being a bit difficult, but you will be amazed at how much a scammer will tolerate if numbers like $10,000 are muttered here and there. Also, I bet you didn't know that he is an Americanist, a crypto-Protestant, and a CINO? You know, the more I create this Ernie, the less I like him. Perhaps I will kill him off right before he is supposed to arrive, and have his assistant take over, starting the whole ball of wax again...

Hello Ernie it was quite nice to get your email,today alot of work i had to do in the office after a management meeting i had a closed door section with the manager so he suggested you have to come,so what you decide and what amount do we have to offer him because he is understanding we want to use the funds for helping the poor so we are not meant to tell him our intentions we just give him something,so what do u think how much should we offer him to make him happy and sign the approval documents,so you should start making plans of coming to south africa ok,tomorrow i will tell you the airport,so what do u think we offer the manager lets know so he gives approval ok,keep me informed and tell me what you are planning about requestal form ok.

LISA

Lisa,

I don't exactly know the standards and prices for things in your country, but do you think that this manager would be happy with, maybe $50? I imagine that in your country this could buy a lot, certainly more than it could buy in America, where everything is expensive, mostly due to the hard work and dilligence of the American people, so that people can get more and more and more. We call it the Protestant Work Ethic, but there are even some Catholics who believe in it too (don't tell our bishops!), because we realize that there is nothing greater than being an American and a Republican, and we should work to get money, because that is how we know that God loves us, and we really don't need to have any foreigners tell us how to run our lives, our country, and our government. Anyway, would $50 be adequate? I am thinking that what he wants is a little bit of money to buy a cow or a zebra or whatever it is that people can buy over there. In America we would have to pay him thousands of dollars, but there is so much more to buy here, as America is very modern and you can go to a Wall*Mart and just fill up your house with marvelous goods at good prices, but perhaps it is not so in Africa, where all you have are a few cows and beads and trinkets and the occassional rug. But, like I said, I am a good listener, in fact, one of the best, and since you are living in the region at hands, you would have a much better intimation of what the going rate should be. I don't want to be miserly, but we shouldn't give this man more than he needs. Because you might think that he is going to buy things for his family, but often as not a man will just engage prostitutes and drink his life away, and that would be a shame for him and for his money. I know that you are a very dilligence and hard working person, but I also know, from my time in Nam, that many people in the foreign countries are not so, and they just spend money on pleasures that are bad for their health and families. I think it is how these countries got to be so foreign to begin with. If they had American values, there would be no corruption and everyone would be much happier. So, I will plan on coming to South Africa and to leave in about a week. Perhaps I will take some extra time off work so I can see a bit of the country. I have never seen a Pygmie or a Hottentot and would also love to see tigers in the jungle. It is a childhood image, that goes back to a book about a little boy and a tiger and pancakes, and I would very much like to see that. Tell me, though, what should I bring and pack. Is it always hot in the jungle there? Also, should I bring a gun, in case I get accosted by wild men? And you will need to tell me how much cash. I can probably bring as much as around $10,000 if we really need it, but I don't think we should be giving money away like that if we can get away with giving the man maybe $50 and a package of cigarettes. Please advise as soon as possible.

-Ernie

Holy 419 (Part Four) or Where the Victim Sets His Lure To Get the Scammers Really Drooling

As usual, my response is in the extended entry. Here is where they make the initial pitch to get us into kidnapping territory, or at least to the point where we are sending them money to avoid having to go over there. This is where it is important to set the lure. Right now they are drooling over the prospect that an American imbecile is going to show up on their door waving a wad of cash. Next step: Ernie realizes that Africa might be dangerous, asks for reassurances, and hijinks ensue. Meanwhile, here is today's exciting episode:

Hello Ernie,
it was very good to see your email but it was weekend,so today in the banking premises i discussed with the bank manager,and showed him the email you sent for his approval he asked me if you were going come to our bank to sign the documents of release,so now after the discussion with him i told him personally to approve the release so we get clearance from the legal department,which he has agreed to do but he wants you to come to our office do you want to come how do we do it,so we get this funds out of the bank and now everything is moving on very well,so what do you suggest about coming or meeting the bank manager how do we do it this is the only thing remaining i have taken care of all other things understand we know what to do to the manager or do we have to offer him something because he thinks that it is really you that it was deposited on your behalf so what do we do to him his signature is needed but we dont have to involve him in the funds,because he know is funds for the poor,but we offer him something so he signs, ok i need your decision.
REGARDS
LISA

Lisa,

Thank you for getting back to me. I am not exactly sure of the proper modalities at this point in the venture. Do I need to come to where you are in Africa or will we meet here in the United States? I could come to Africa, but I will need to know which airport and will need to make some arrangements with my work, so I can take the time off (how much should I put on my requestal form? Is a week enough time?). If you are going to come here, then Oakland is the right airport. You will want to let me know when, so I can pick you up at the airport, because Oakland is a rough city with certain elements, including a viscious gang that wears black and silver, rides motorcycles, drinks copious beer and gets into fights. You don't want to mess with them. They call themselves the Black Hole, and even wear portraits of bandits on their jackets. As for the manager, while I suppose that the proper thing is to keep everything on the fair and square, up and up and so forth, we may find it more efficient for our cause of helping the poor if we simply offer him a token from the fund, or perhaps if he is impatient, I can bring some money with me if I have to go to Africa, and then can take reimbursements from the fund when it is all cleared. Please advise me as to the proper modality. Thank you for your responses.

Ernie

Holy 419 (Part Three) or Not-So Great Expectations

This is getting better and better. The phone number, in case you are wondering, is for a noxious state agency that should not exist. They should have a lot of fun telling this 419 operator all about the hazards of smoking. As usual, my reply is in the extended entry section. Have fun:

Ernie,
what do you suggest you want the deal to be between the 3 of us,if you trust the other partner good,now you have to send me your details so i can start filing papers for the release of the funds,you have to send me the name of the other partner too with his phone contacts and yours too with residential addresses,occupation,so i can start filling up papers immediately i understand what you mean in your email so now lets lie low and do a neat job do you understand it and let it be between the three of us and the banks accountant who will sign too,so now furnish me contacts and address so we start filling up for release of these funds.

REGARDS
LISA

Lisa,

I am so glad to be in receipt of this your most recent email. Since we see eye to eye it is great that we are so much in agreement, and should be able to attain much good in these transaction. I have as my understanding to give you all of both my and mine's addresses, phone numbers and the like, which I am eager to do as to get this moving faster and faster.

Here is my information:

Ernie Keilmanns Holtzenpfeffer

Mailing Address: PO Box 28962
Oakland, CA 94604

Residential Address: 69 Schickelgruber Lane
Oakland, CA 94611

My job title is Campaign Manager
My work phone works best, which is 888.662.8887

My assistant has been instructed to send you this information independently.

I look forward to continuing our mutually productive and beneficial endeavors.

-Ernie

Holy 419, PART TWO!

Lisa replied! Now I typically start writing more like the 419er, as if it is a mad race to total style collapse. My esteemed colleagues and I have determined that mode of language discourses should be as pompous as it is inept, indubitably! My own reply is in the extended entry section.

ERNIE,
How are you? it was great to read your email dated 8-8-2005,i thank you very much for your concern to help make use of this funds as it meant to be used,now when this money was deposited in my bank,it was done for the needy to help them by the late pope of vatican,so now we cant contact the vatican secret service for this it is meant to be a task you have to bear in your mind because i will make you the beneficiary of this funds so you can now know exactly what you do with it becasue the money must be spent wisely for the work it was deposited for,now i will advise you to think on what to do in this case,but you might involve someone who is not honest thats the problem ,left for me i will like you to do it alone because it is the funds for the poor,so now decide if you can handle it yourself .So if all is ok with you my bank will take appropriate procedure to make it a suceess.
Lisa.

Lisa,

Thank you for your quick and timely response to my email. I am most overjoyed that you found me, as I am convinced that this money could easily have fallen into hands that were not so honest if otherwise. Your judgement and discernment strike me as most excellent and prudential. While I think you might be right in not contacting the Vatican Secret Service, since we don't know if it has been infiltrated by corrupt men (for instance it is not always well known that the Swiss have a reputation for holding corrupt and secret banks, and I believe the Vatican Secret Service has many Swiss in it) or not, because maybe they really are good, but we just don't know. I would hate to see this money just go to line some pockets in Geneva. But how can we know? WE cannot read men's hearts. We have to procede with due caution and significance. Slowly and carefully at all times. So, you are to be commended for your wariness here. We have a phrase in America called due dilligence, and I think due dilligence ought to be your middle name. IT is a good and honorable trait this due dilligence, and I hope that you persevere in it. Which brings us back to this transaction to use the late Pope of the Vatican's money for charitable purposes he intended. I will work alone, except that I have an assistant who helps me with everything. I trust him like a son, and I entreat you to trust him as such as well. Perhaps sometime when this is all done, we can meet in person, all three of us and can celebrate our actions in this. I like to think that sometimes heroes come from the ranks of ordinary men and that even we can be heroes even with using some of the money, although not all of it, as that is for the poor and needy.

-Ernie

Holy 419 Scheme, Batman!

Wow! The 419 scheme goes Catholic! Oh those niche marketers. My response is in the extended entry. If any of the Vatican's Secret Agents are reading this and would like to get in on the fun, let me know...

ATTENTION,
I sincerely write to seek your co-operation and trust to enable me carry out an urgent business Opportunity in my department. I work with the OCEANIC BANK PLC, currently I am n charge of bills and exchange at the foreign remittance department of my bank. I was the account officer to Pope John Paul 2 who died on 2 April 2005.
He left in his domiciliary account the total sum of $25,000,000(twenty five million dollars) which he left for the needy and also for the helping of some churches and also feeding of the poor. But unfortunately we have not seen any body to claim the money. Rev.fr.james blank is the only person who knows about this apart from the bank. The management of the bank have planned to embezzle the money since there is no one to claim the money. On this note, I now decided to give you the money so that you can give it to the needy. I will soon proceed for my
retirement leave, and I personally do not want this fund to be lost to the bank. That is why I wanted the fund to be move out of the bank before I proceed on my retirement from the banking services. I have decided that you take all the money and deliver it to the needy and some to churches, am a very good Christian and will not watch the bank embezzle the money belonging to the needy, it is not a good idea and I can't involve my self in that kind of evil plan. To enable the immediate transfer of the fund into your nominated account, you would have to fill the bank application form for such claim as the next of kin to the deceased. There you will designate your bank account where the money will be remitted. Upon receipt of your mail indicating your interest, I will send to you a copy of the application form and the Account/ Deceased information you would need to fill it. Send your direct Fax and telephone numbers for effective communication that this transaction needs. And also if you help you will get 20% of the money as your reward to your good work.

Please note that you may appear in person if you like, as every thing regarding this project will be strictly handled by a lawyer and every banking documents needed for this transaction will be taken care of by lawyer. Please try and see that the money lives the bank.

Yours Faithfully,
Ms, Lisa LILY
assistant manager
oceanic bank plc,
located at 12 nelson's street cape town.

Dear Lisa,

The idea of this money falling into the evil scheme that you describe leaves me heartbroken. I think that the best course of action would to be to contact the Vatican Secret Service, rather than try to go through the rather complex plan you have mentioned here.

Please let me know your thoughts on this. I have only forwarded this letter to a friend of mine, who, if I were to follow the plan you outlined, would be assisting me. I have not contacted anyone else until I hear back from you.

Thank you,

Ernie

Bullfight in Gustine

Last Monday, one of folks in our party, a teenage friend who shall remain nameless, decided to try his hand at writing bullfight reviews. I was going to add my own reviews in between his, but deadlines continue to stare me down, so I will just post his. Keep in mind that this was his third bullfight:

*The review of the bull fight is true, only the names have been changed to cause greater amusement.*

I am writing right now at 1:38 AM in the morning. We just got back from fore-mentioned bullfight. So don't be surprised if my sentences get longer and words like "pgfl;sjd" show up as this review progresses further into the morning.

Right, let's begin by introducing everyone to Portuguese bullfighting. Portuguese bullfighting, meet my audience. My audience, meet Portuguese bullfighting. Oh, I haven't yet introduced you to all the wonderful children of Portuguese bullfighting.

Horsey dudes: These guys ride on horses... Uh... Yeah... (I wrote this at about 1:40 AM, gimme a break.)

They got cool tri-corner hats. Though I've yet to see one with a peg-leg and parrot... That would be awesome...

They ride around and try to put Velcro tipped spears on the bulls. Which is not as easy as it sounds. Imagine trying to get up close enough to a CHARGING bull intent on skewering the horse on its horns (The horns are capped for horsey dudes because since the horses are highly trained they're worth a lot).

Footsy dudes: These guys are entirely bipedal. They worship the elder god "Mickey Mouse". As a token of their own chosenness they wear funny hats. I think they have a permanent crick in their back or something but their posture is WAY messed up. They get bulls with non-capped horns so when they place the Velcro tipped spears on the bull they have to be PRETTY careful.

Getters-To-The-Point: These guys really take the bull by the horns in the bullfight. After the horsey dude is done placing his spears they form a line and the front guy shouts at the bull to get his attention. When the bull charges he grabs onto the bull's head and hopes that the rest of his buddies are there to back him up. If all goes according to plan they all grab the bull who gets semi-docile because he can't see (I think). Then they pull off the spears and one guy grabs the tail of the bull. The bull will try to get the guy grabbing his tail so it circles and the guy slides around until the other dudes are out of reach.

Distracters:These guys are much similar to the Footsy dudes in that they have capes. They distract the bull at various times (Like when they are un-controledly chasing a horsey dude too close). A good squad of these guys is essential for safety. A bad team of these guys can totally mess up the performance of the bullfighters.

Tractor Man: Tractor was a man... I mean... He was tractor man... Well... Maybe he was just a farmer... But he still-drives-a TRACTOR!!!
TRACTOR!!!

This guy is seriously misrepresented. He goes out there and smoothes out the ground sometimes between bulls. He definitely needs a cool costume and a funny posture. Maybe he could dedicate the cleaning even with his baseball cap (the bullfighters can dedicate spears to various things such as a particular section of bandstand, the band, someone in heaven, etc.)

Ok now for the three bull-fighters

Horsey dude #1: Portuguese guy from Portugal (Go figure). Did some great work uh... Yesterday.

Horsey dude #2 Californian, started at age 12 and is now 16-17. Needs more practice.

Footsy dude: Mexican. Funny costume. Not very popular with all those Portuguese people 'cause they like Horsies better then footsies.

Ok, enough with the introductions.

I of course sat right in front of the 2-3 year old who gives orders to all participants in the bullfight. Not to mention the mixed brigade of loud children and female types. I also sat in the physical front und hence got hit in the cheek by a dirt clod flung from the hooves of either the bull or the horse which passed by at extreme speeds.

1st Bull was good. Not to mention the Getters-To-The-Point grabbed him first time. Although he did almost get the horse against a wall. Bad navigating on the part of Horsey dude #1

2nd Bull Bad bad bad bad. Didn't charge a lot and stood around staring at various moving members of the audience. Got grabbed first time though by Getters-To-The-Point.

3rd Bull was absolutely awful. He went back out of the ring immediately (by himself) and one of the farmers gave it a hard smack on the head for doing so.

4th Bull was OK I guess. I don't remember much about it except that it fell down a lot.

5th Bull was Superb. Excellent horsemanship by Horsey dude #1. Awesome placement. The Getters-To-The-Point did not get him first time and a dude got trampled. He wasn't injured (seriously that is) though. They got the bull on the second try.

6th Bull So so. Thing I remembered about this one is it lifted TWO Getters-To-The-Point up into the air with its head. 400 pounds plus the weight of its already heavy head... That's scary.

7th Bull was OK I guess.

Ok, I gotta go to sleep now. It's 2:38 and the morning is not getting any further away.

Oh those Nightshades...

I know, I know, I really should be doing real work, but I just want to say how wonderful the nightshade family of plants is. Tomatoes and eggplant are just two of the wonders of this family. I have been eating tomatoes like they are going out of style (and, in a way they are, as the memories of the dark months between November and June, during which I will eat no raw tomato, are still fresh in my mind. There is a part of my brain that wants to eat my weight in tomatoes each and every day while I can get them as good as I have been getting them).

Today I made an ensalata caprese with three varieties of organic heirloom tomatoes, mozzarella di bufala (from campagna), homegrown basil, sea salt, and extra virgin olive oil (I used the kalamata olive oil from Trader Joe's). Then, as if that weren't enough, I made the season's first batch of gazpacho.

Later this week I will make the third ratatouille of the summer.

Tomatoes are good. Very good. Indeed.

New Comments Procedure

If you posted a comment in the last few weeks, you have undoubtedly noticed that there is a lag before the comment actually appears. What is going on is that ALL comments now come to me first. If I approve them (which I generally do, except for SPAM, animal rights nonsense, and sedevacantists, or other irritants), then they appear as they normally did.

However, if I am away for a couple of days, or simply too busy, then they sit in limbo until I get back. I realize that this impedes the flow of conversation that can make comments boxes enjoyable, but it works wonders for spam control, which has been a persistant headache.

A side effect is that I am more inclined to delete comments that would have slid by in the past, like the anonymous folks who find this site with a google search and then get angry because I am not offering the easy answers to their term paper, or whatever it is that they are looking for. I am also more inclined to send private replies, because the configuration just makes that easier. To post a reply, I have to go to the actual site, post my comment, then come back to the editor to approve it. I will do that if the comment seems of general interest, but if someone is asking for some specific thing that I cannot see anyone else caring about, I am much more inclined to just send an email out.

One last thing. In getting used to this system, I may have made mistakes. I may have neglected to send email replies or have accidentally deleted comments that were fine and should have been approved. If this happened to you, sorry. I think I have the procedure down now.

So, with that, I must finish two restaurant reviews (got to keep the editors at bay), get enough sleep to go to the bullfight in Gustine tomorrow night, and manage to organize two of my bookshelves.

Oh yes, if you ever get a chance to go to confession from one of the priests of the Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest, by all means do so. I have only done it with one priest, but he is outstanding. I imagine that it reflects a certain level of formation that happens with the order.