The Reluctant Endorsement

As you may know, I am disgusted with most of the candidates for President.

So, here are my tentative endorsements, subject to change.

1. Ron Paul (I will probably be TEMPORARILY reregistering as a Republican for the sake of voting in the Primary. Then it is back to the Falange, and it is time to do a Falange registration drive, by the way. More on that later).

2. John McCain. OK, he is a loose cannon. He has a temper. That is what I like about him. Diplomacy will be better with a McCain than some mealy-mouth.

3. Anyone but Huckabee. Obvioulsy the field is loaded with heretics and a polytheist infidel, but Huckabee goes beyond that. He is, by his "ordination", a heresiarch. No heresiarchs. However, this is just in the primaries. Huckabee is probably better than Clinton.

4. Anyone but Romney. And this includes the general election. I would support Hillary over Romney. The United States would be hanging a "Smite Me" sign over its collective culo by electing a Mormon for President.

No Mormons.
Not now! Not Ever!
Mitt - Repent and Retire!

On the Democratic side:

1. Barack Hussein Osama. I dare ya! Yank Middle America's chain that hard. Go ahead! Tee hee hee.

2. Al Gore. Bring back the old loser, so we can watch him pout on television again. On second thought, if I have to hear more of that droning, idiotic voice on the news...naw, leave him out to pasture along with Cornball Carter and old Krieg Kriminal Kissinger, and the rest of the august club of Nobel Peace Laureates. Maybe he will choke on a laurel leaf.

3. Geraldine Ferraro. You know. It was a very cynical move of the Democrats to break the sex barrier on an election that they knew they didn't have the slightest chance of winning (Woooooo! Minnesota and the District of Columbia - speaking of which, why are those people allowed to vote at all?). Now, more is at stake, and it is time for them to show their commitment to the cause by pushing one of the legendary sisters to front and center. After all, it takes a special kind of person to be able to play second fiddle to Walter Mondale. Maybe she could draft Ed MacMahon to be her running mate.

4. Diane Feinstein. Hair worse than Thatcher's. Reactionary in the schoolmarmish, worst sense of the word. A manly woman locked in a womanly man's body, or something like that, Feinstein could run as the love child of the long lost mutated femininity of Chastity Bono and the long lost mutated masculinity of Elton John. Oh, so mean, so mean. Keilholtz, you are mean. But the day that old hag retires is a day that will put a smile on my face. The way Gray Davis treated her in the gubernatorial primary is about the only thing I like about that twit.

5. John Vasconcellos. Just for the laugh of it. It could be the seventies all over again. I do feel a little guilty for planting dumb ideas in his head, which came to fruition years later, but at the time I was ten, and he was an elected public official. Since that time, I have come to see the errors in my logic back then, and he has come to see the wisdom. Poor bastard. But, just think, he could run on a ticket with Jerry Brown. Maybe bellbottoms would make a comeback. But it would be funny, in that tragicomical sense.

Now, the other thing that needs to happen, is that the people of San Francisco need to wake up to what a compromising centrist Nancy Pelosi has become. If they want to keep their progressive creds in tact, they will need to toss her out and elect a real firebrand, preferably a Green.

Posted by erik at December 20, 2007 11:19 AM