There's no Anti-Biker like an Ex-Biker

Now, we all know that the most obnoxious anti-smoking neo-Puritans are the former smokers. What motivates their nastiness? Deep down missing something and knowing that they have to do without because they could not moderate? The intensity of a recent convert? Who knows?

I am an ex-bicyclist. I used to wear improbable outfits and little caps with the bills turned up and would find nothing better than to come up really close to a slower biker on the American River Bike Path and pass within an inch of disaster while uttering a curt "on your left."

Yes, you see, driving a BMW doesn't make the jerk. The jerk gravitates towards the superior technology of the BMW. And as jerks grow up, they should trade in the sleek French racing bike for a German car. Bicycling is a childish matter.

But the inner jerk remains.

Q: What is the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A: The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

Har har har.

So, now that I am an ex-bicyclist who drives an over-powered German car, and looks at two wheelers as irritating cretins who get in the way of true progress and don't obey the traffic laws even as they demand all the rights of automobiles (yes, how do I know they do this? never you mind)... I have to say that seeing this video perhaps doesn't inspire Schadenfreude exactly, but... well, something along those lines: