Damn the Macacas! Full Speed Ahead!

Now, even though Erik's Rants and Recipes is run by a reactionary, we try to keep it from being a reactionary broadside, in that we almost completely avoid newsy commentary on the hot button issues of the day. Part of this is our general disdain for democracy and part of it is due to our more specific disdain (and yet, curiously, also glee) of the level of political discourse that is so base and deficient that it screams from the rooftops why liberal democracy is a horrible institution.

Also, one of my all time least liked politicians, the DisHonorable Dianne Feinstein (D-California), has epitomized reactive politics. Her legislative agenda is always the morning newspaper, and her nannying instincts are immediate: any time any sort of problem gets the first whiff of media exposure, Feinstein is on the case, lickety split. Never mind deep research. Never mind measured, sober steps. Something must be done! And now! For the Children!

So, we generally let news age on the shelf for a bit before we comment.

Hence the frequent discussion of the Spanish Civil War, which remains, like it or not, the focal point of modern Western Civilization. All roads lead to the Ebro, and we are on the side of civilization, order, decency, and the Holy Faith, standing in union with JONS-FALANGE and St. Francis of Madrid, and we look on those who aren't with pity at best. Most people are against a Franco of Orwell's imagination, a Franco of the liberal press, a Franco of Socialist Pamphlets.

And Spain makes us think of Gibraltar, that blight, that pimple, that abscess on the Roman shore, a rock known for harboring barbarians and Europe's only wild monkeys (not counting the Dutch), the macaques. And macaque calls to mind Sen. Allen and his little heckler (it has been a good year for hecklers, right Mr. Richards?).

Now, we have defended Sen. Allen's use of the word "macaca" in this very space. In fact, it is about the only thing we have found defensible in this otherwise milquetoast Republican.

So it was with no small delight that this article showed up on our Yahoo page this fine (yet freezing) morning.

Which brings us back to the reactive and the reactionary.

With "macaca" being the year's "most politically incorrect word" we have decided to honor the word by making today officially "Macaca Day." Normally, we would have to see such antics as reactive, offensive simply to give offence, but upon deeper reflection we will find...that that is exactly it.

We owe our thin-skinned brethren of the Left frequent doses of abrasion. It is through these treatments that they will develop the thicker skin that will allow them to remain firmly grounded in reality, thus ignoring the minor irritations that send them flying into disproportionate hissy fits.

And when this hypersensitivity spreads beyond its nucleus into more normal areas, the whole nation is in danger. Honestly, I expect the United States to fall, not to tanks, but to a platoon of hostile troops smoking cigarettes and wearing a little aftershave. All they will have to do after the initial assault, is stand on top of the stairs, thus preventing the few of us who are not gasping in spasms of indignation from getting at them with our wheelchairs.

So, welcome to Erik's Rants and Recipes, a thoroughly offensive zone for the effete liberal, where cigars and whisky are the norm, where queers get smeared (remember that game? I betcha kids could get expelled from school for playing that one nowadays), where seatbelts are suspect, where fur is worn by the women, veal and foie gras eaten by all, where the deer and the macacas play (until shot by the local hunters).

Happy Macaca Day to you, Mr. Scrooge!
And Happy Macaca Day to each and every one of you!

Posted by erik at December 18, 2006 9:11 AM