By Order of the Duce!

Whereas, today, December 5, is the 73rd anniversary of the repeal of the darkest era of American politics,

Whereas our society, under the well-intentioned yet plainly evil forces of the Medico-Pharmiceutical Complex, is diving headfirst into a new prohibition,

Whereas the Enemy's tool of Puritanism has taken a nefarious, post-Christian aspect,

Whereas the forces of Good in this world deserve our encouragement, support, and a strong drink,

We duly proclaim today the 73 Martini Day! Our goal is to get pledges for the consumption of 73 martinis (or some suitable substitution cocktail) along with a prayer to deliver us from our foes, to smash Puritanism in all its forms, and for the conversion of the Mormons, Mohammedans and Baptists before midnight tonight.

Mindful that our decree might cause undue hardship on those who do not know a proper martini, we are offering the Duce's Private Reserve Martini Recipe:

Chill a martini glass with ice and water.

In a shaker with cracked ice add two shots of gin (preferably Bombay Sapphire, Plymouth, Van Gogh, or Tanqueray), one quarter to one half a shot of dry white vermouth, and a splash of water from the glass. Shake vigorously. Allow it to stand while you make the preperations for the glass.

Drain the glass of the ice water. Pour a couple of drops of single malt Scotch into the glass and gently swirl to coat the sides as thoroughly as possible.

Give the shaker a final vigorous shake, and strain into the glass. Add a Spanish, anchovy stuffed olive, put some Stan Getz on the turntable, toast the Duce, and enjoy!

Make your pledges to this spiritual bouquet in the comments box.