Professional Sports

I like watching sports for a number of reasons: the poetry in motion of a well-tuned and well-trained athlete is a concrete example off the Good, the True and the Beautiful; the drama of the contest between the cities is a positive and healthy manifestation of human competition; complimentarily, the social cohesion formed around a team is a postitive and healthy manifestation of the tribe instinct; the statistical patterning in a sport like baseball is an interesting manifestation of the musical arts; and there is not a sport out there that does not stand as an open invitation to drink beer.

These are all good things, although each one of these aspects is periodically assaulted by various nefarious forces: the healthy manifestation of competition and tribalism becomes a bestial parody in the hands of some Raiders' fans; the invitation to drink beer is thwarted at the hands of neo-Puritans on campuses who ban its sale in the stadia; etc.

The biggest destroyer of the Good, the True and the Beautiful in sports, however, are the team owners.

Here in the Bay Area (as well as in Sacramento), the team ownership of the A's, the Raiders, the FairyNiners, and the Kings, are currently or have recently played games with their host cities to try to wrest public financing of arenas at little cost to the teams' organizations themselves.

I say, if you want socialized sports, fine. I can get behind that completely. Let the cities own their own teams, or make the teams be publicly traded among bonafide residents of the cities' metro areas. It is for this reason that I remain a Packers' fan. The team doesn't go threatening to move to Las Vegas every four years.

Barring some sort of major overhaul to the nature of professional sports, my second choice would be for all of the Bay Area's teams, excluding the Giants, to leave. Go Away. Move to Timbuktu. I don't care. In terms of economic benefit, professional sports are a wash at best. When the strains they put on the communities are really measured (traffic, police, etc.), my guess is that most (not all) teams are a complete drain on their host cities.

Now, I also include this desire for the teams to vanish to extend to major college sports. Last Saturday we were in Berkeley, and it made me appreciate going to a school without football. We had swimming, tennis, even basketball (I think, although I never went to a game), lacrosse, and all of those other minor sports, which is great. In fact, I would probably pare it down even further in scope.

Today we read in the paper that the FairyNiners are going to move away. Good riddance. Obviously, this is a best case scenario for me, as I despise that team. I would probably be a little (not much, though), less jubilant if it were the A's, a team I like. But for the FairyNiners to move to Santa Clara (even better would be San Jose, Los Angeles' little colony in the North) is like a dream come true. Now I can loathe them with a completely clear conscience, not feeling the least bit like I am betraying the Great City of St. Francis.

The FairyNiners are moving to Perugia, as it were, and the Bay Area can rejoice that we are rid of their lame-ass, losing, Mormon-promoting ways!