The Macaca from Virginia

Yes, I know, I should put out my election guide to let my minions know who to vote for.

Instead, here I go sticking my nose into the business of the Province of Virginia.

If you Virginians don't like it, tough. California eats little territories like yours for breakfast and poops them out before taking on real states for lunch.

Allen v. Webb.

What's the deal? Are they trying to out pansy each other? If either one of them get any softer, they could run for San Francisco Board of Supervisors.

Let's see. We have George Allen, the "conservative" divorcee. He has some little fellow named S.R. Sidarth hanging around, undoubtedly making innappropriate noises and all the stuff that toadies of one polititian do to the opponent. I oughta know. I did that sort of stuff (and I plead the fifth as to which candidate it was for).

Anyway, little toadie staffers often act like monkeys. If they so happen to be smallish and monkey acting, well, being called "macaca" just comes with the territory.

Instead, Allen is climbing all over himself trying to show how egalitarian he is. I suppose he is going to donate some large sum to monkey habitat preservation or some such thing, as that is generally what "contrite" public figures do.

But that is not enough for Allen, who now is trying to paint Webb as insensitive to women, who swings his purse back at Allen by saying "no, it's you whose inthenthitive!"

I say, they deserve each other as eternal bunkmates. And if the people of Virginia elect either one, I will tolerate no more pointing out the goofiness of California from the Virginians (especially since, as I have said before, any bad idea in California will be followed three years later in your state).