No Friday Afternoon Sermon

Friday has come and gone, and, obviously you did not get a Friday Afternoon Sermon. Pity. I was going to rant about something or other, but it can wait.

The reason I skipped it was that I spent too much time fiddling with software Thursday night (OK, I admit it, I was loading songs into the iPod). No time to write. Sorry. Also, I have been baiting reds, or atheists, or whatever sort of fellow traveller it is that I have been crossing swords with in the taurine world.

Maybe I will give you a mid-week sermon, but that misses the atmosphere that I am shooting for in having Friday Afternoon Sermons.

You see, the Friday Afternoon Sermon was how the blog began. It started as an email circular that was to take the place of my Friday Afternoon Martini during Lent. I was intrigued by the crossing fo the images of a bunch of Mohammedans listening to their imams and images of the Western Friday afternoon (whoo hooo, the weekend is here). I created a little setting for the Friday Afternoon Sermon: a hot, slightly muggy day, in a piazza. The hearers of the sermon are not really there all by choice, and the piazza is full of various police in a variety of levels of uniform. Those who mutter against the Leader get stern looks from one of the secret policemen, you know, the guy over at that other table, sipping his Campari and looking for all the world like somebody's uncle. You say, "I have heard enough of this..." and the policeman who looks like someone's uncle makes a funny noise and shakes his head. A few minutes later, a skinny fellow in a trench coat and sunglasses leans over to you and says, "it is a shame how old ladies sit in the piazza these days and mutter and gossip." You get the message. You listen to the Leader. Somewhere in the distance, you hear someone selling ice cream. It is hot. You wish you had a copy of Hemingway...to throw at the Leader. But you wouldn't do that anyway. You are a good citizen and have always been a good citizen.

It had the extra benefit of allowing my friends to have a little extra penance during Lent. In fact it became so popular (one week I had no fewer than seven people send me emails saying "stop sending me those stupid things. I have no time for this nonsense.") that I knew then and there that I had to start posting this to an even bigger audience. Writing for a chain of newspapers wasn't enough. I had to be heard in Slovakia, in Ireland, in Germany, in Italy, in Malta, in Canada, yes, even in Canada.

And I have a reader of this blog who is an elected official in one of the above nations. I will let you guess, although it won't do you any good, because I am not saying. Anyway, this country obviously does not provide enough entertainment for its elected officials.

So, the Friday Afternoon Sermons are dear to my heart. Maybe I will wear a turban while writing the next one.

Do any of you know how to tie a turban? You do tie turbans, don't you?