Holy 419, PART TWO!

Lisa replied! Now I typically start writing more like the 419er, as if it is a mad race to total style collapse. My esteemed colleagues and I have determined that mode of language discourses should be as pompous as it is inept, indubitably! My own reply is in the extended entry section.

ERNIE,
How are you? it was great to read your email dated 8-8-2005,i thank you very much for your concern to help make use of this funds as it meant to be used,now when this money was deposited in my bank,it was done for the needy to help them by the late pope of vatican,so now we cant contact the vatican secret service for this it is meant to be a task you have to bear in your mind because i will make you the beneficiary of this funds so you can now know exactly what you do with it becasue the money must be spent wisely for the work it was deposited for,now i will advise you to think on what to do in this case,but you might involve someone who is not honest thats the problem ,left for me i will like you to do it alone because it is the funds for the poor,so now decide if you can handle it yourself .So if all is ok with you my bank will take appropriate procedure to make it a suceess.
Lisa.

Lisa,

Thank you for your quick and timely response to my email. I am most overjoyed that you found me, as I am convinced that this money could easily have fallen into hands that were not so honest if otherwise. Your judgement and discernment strike me as most excellent and prudential. While I think you might be right in not contacting the Vatican Secret Service, since we don't know if it has been infiltrated by corrupt men (for instance it is not always well known that the Swiss have a reputation for holding corrupt and secret banks, and I believe the Vatican Secret Service has many Swiss in it) or not, because maybe they really are good, but we just don't know. I would hate to see this money just go to line some pockets in Geneva. But how can we know? WE cannot read men's hearts. We have to procede with due caution and significance. Slowly and carefully at all times. So, you are to be commended for your wariness here. We have a phrase in America called due dilligence, and I think due dilligence ought to be your middle name. IT is a good and honorable trait this due dilligence, and I hope that you persevere in it. Which brings us back to this transaction to use the late Pope of the Vatican's money for charitable purposes he intended. I will work alone, except that I have an assistant who helps me with everything. I trust him like a son, and I entreat you to trust him as such as well. Perhaps sometime when this is all done, we can meet in person, all three of us and can celebrate our actions in this. I like to think that sometimes heroes come from the ranks of ordinary men and that even we can be heroes even with using some of the money, although not all of it, as that is for the poor and needy.

-Ernie