I knew it!

Ghost of Richard Nixon here.

I finally got into this blog without having to go through the little demented mind of the blogduce. Thanks to my team of plumbers, I can now write directly to the blog, and I have to say: it feels great.

At least much better than my little cell down below, where I have to listen to that jackass Roosevelt bleat all the time. He earned his place in Hell, but me, it is an injustice that cries out to Heaven, if Heaven weren't obviously controlled by commie stooges (you know, they tell me that even God's Son is a Jew, which just goes to show you the infiltration these people have. G. Gordon, please see that God gets a thorough IRS audit this go around).

I repeat, I am not a crook. It was a misunderstanding, and I will be vindicated in the end. I will come out of my trials in Hell all the stronger for it. Me and my Checkers.

Oh, that's another thing. Why am I lower than Roy? Do you know what that man did with other men? I bet he used his Jewish connections. I did get a kick out of watching him dance on the hot sand. Funniest damn thing I ever saw in my life, to tell you the truth. The look on his face as he said, "help me, Dick, get me out of here!" Just precious. I was laughing very hard, but then they dragged me down, and you know that SOB, who used to work for me, actually grinned?

Now, don't get me wrong. There are plenty of fellow Quakers here. In fact, most of them. I was just talking to Bill Penn, and he said to me, "Dick. Thou hast made a mistake by bombing Cambodia." Even my own people are infected with the Peace movement!!! It is really easy to see why most of these people are down here, but I was given the bum rap. I shouldn't be here! Certainly not as low as I am.

But you don't want to know about Hell, at least not yet. You came to read (what, one of that nut Keilholtz's recipes?) my take on the latest Supreme Court Decision.

Now, I think I should have been more involved in City government...Hey! Stop that! I will not leave! I am not a crook...

Phew. Say goodbye to Milhous.

Bye, Milhous

[fading] well, you won't have Richard Nixon to kick around anymore....

Too bad, but he is right. Hey, Dick, take a bite out of Roosevelt for me, will ya?

Anyway, Richard took advantage of my own inner Milhous to break down all order on the blog. I was contemplating a run for city politics, so that I could isolate my enemies by seizing their constituencies' property, giving it to friends and allies in the name of "renewal" and building massive blocks of Keilholtz supporters, all under the glowing eyes of the Supreme Court.

It will be perfect, because if the enemies are forced out, and the Court backs it, they can be forced out of areas where they can vote me out. Then, with careful politicking among neighboring cities, we can build a power coalition and can run the cities for our own personal pleasure, with the Supremes smiling on.

Do you know how much a Fascist dreams about stuff like this?

Why, I could run Oakland as a personal fiefdom... My own isle, Don Quixote!

HAH! Now that that pesky Keilholtz is lost in his reveries of power...

I'm Back! Like a bad nightmare.

Anyway, it just dawned on me that I haven't seen Spiro around. I was sure he would be down here, but no. You know Greece is pretty close to Israel. He probably went to confession and sang.

Nothing makes me redder than some weakling who confesses.

So, boy, I wish we had these Justices back in 1972. If they were in, I would still be in power.

But, you'll see. I'll be back.

Posted by erik at June 23, 2005 11:38 AM | TrackBack