Nasty, Brutish and To The Point!

As of this moment I have a new official motto:

Nasty, Brutish and To The Point.

I am certainly not short, so this is the best way for me to fit into one of my favorite lines.

There are very few times that I do not love being not short. I like being able to stand in the back and still see. I like being able to reach things without asking for a tall person to help. I like grinning benevolently at all the little people who always seem to be swarming around me (family reunions with the Italian side of the family are particularly fun, because my Italian relatives are short and loud which means I have this constant noise coming up from the ground).

And, let's face it. If I were anything less than, say 5' 10" I would be one of those insufferable short people who are constantly trying to take over neighboring countries. Most of the short people I know are not like that, but that is because they are not me.

You see, some of us have to have plenty of room for our egos. If we did not have enough room in our bodies, then they spill out all over Poland or Austria or Ethiopia and that gets messy, and you have to call out armies and then you have to pay for Marshall plans and then I would have to go live on some island, and you all know what I think of islands.

Crazy places, islands. Full of savages and nasty storms. I could probably handle the Azores or Bora Bora or some island like that, but they don't exile you to places like that. With my luck I would end up in Sicily, which would be just too depressing for words, mainly because that last clause would become "whuch wuuld bbu tuu diprussun' furi wuurdo" and there is no way I would ever understand what people are talking about. Vowels do funny things on islands.

So, I give thanks that I am not a short person (although in elementary school French class I chose Napoleon for my French name), and, thus cannot be called "Nasty, Brutish and Short."

So, there you have it: Nasty, Brutish and To The Point.

Of course after this last post you might doubt the "to the point" part, but the nasty and brutish part will ensure that you will not dare say that to my face.

"Wha? Not to the point? Well, perhaps a castor oil cocktail will make you see the point!"

Anyway, thanks to Don at Mixolydian Mode. This will keep me grinning like an idiot for a week!