Democrats!

I have been taking a break from more pressing matters by reading some rather dull carping between Republicrats and Demicans on various Catholic blogs.

Now, I am not in any way, shape or form a Republican. I do not see Reagan as an ideal, and find neocons to be general pains in the rear.

However, I can't completely say that I don't have a horse in that race, like I do in the American Colonial Revolt, because my general distaste for Republicans doesn't come close to the dread and loathing I have for the Democratic Party.

My natural reaction to these Donkeys is somewhat akin to my reaction to finding larvae in my polenta.

But here is my secret: I have absolutely no attachment to the Democrats of yore, either. I find nostalgic bleating about FDR or that gasbag Truman (and let's face it, his daughter really was untalented) or the hero worship of Jack Kennedy to be about as horrifying as thinking about Ted Kennedy, drunk and naked, chasing campaign volunteers around a hotel room.

I will be voting in November, but I am not happy about it. I never am. You go into the booth and are confronted with an array of ninnies who all do their job so poorly that we are also confronted with a slate of Propositions, the dumbest of which will inevitably pass.

So, here is my solution: make the day AFTER election day a holiday. Give official endorsement to the notion of going out after voting and getting absolutely stinko. Let the hangover reign on Election Wednesday. It would be a good symbolic act to what happens when the idiot candidates and insane laws all go into effect. Vote. Feel Sick. Vote. Taste the consequences of allowing the unwashed hordes access to voting machines. The electorate is one group of monkeys that will absolutely NEVER type up Hamlet.

Just remember that the deep feeling of rot and emptiness that lingers for months and years after each election is not just the recovery from too much cheap gin, but the legacy of your own choices in that voting booth.

Cheer! Bottoms up!

And do vote, by the way. I will need some company at the bar.