My Friday Five Answers

1. The steward at the wedding at Cana was amazed at the quality of the wine that was the result of Jesus' first public miracle. What sort of wine do you think it closest resembled and why do you think so?

Obviously this wine had to be a powerhouse wine, since the guests had clearly been drinking quite a bit of the old vino and yet the quality was noted. We have to think what would have been a knock-out wine in that region. For someone who is most familiar with Bordeaux, an old Hermitage might taste weird if one isn't ready for that barnyard aroma. I am tempted to think, however, that this wine was like a great Bordeaux cuvee, because I can't see how anyone could fail to love a wine like that, but I think it was probably more of a Rhone style wine, since the Sirah grape is most-likely Persian in origin, so would have had a more familiar taste profile. I am guessing then that this wine resembled a Chateauneuf du Pape, Vieux Telegraphe (or Bonny Doon's wonderful tribute, Old Telegram). Partly because of my own fondness for these magnificent Cote du Rhone wines, partly because of the Papal connections to the wine, but mostly because I think that this is what most Mediterranean folks think of when they think of a great wine. Either that or a Super Tuscan or Super Piedmont wine.

2. What is your favorite Catholic work of art that was done by a non-Catholic?

This is a tough one. Probably Bach's b-minor mass, but quite possibly one of Rembrandt's religious paintings. It depends on my mood.

3. What is your favorite depiction of Hell in art?

Easy. I will have to stick with Dante's.

4. What about Heaven?

At the risk of sounding boring, I will stick with Dante here, too.

5. When you think about Satan, do you think of the Miltonic Satan or the Dantean Satan? Or do you think about the Red Devil from the fireworks box?

Even though I accept the theological correctness of Dante's Satan, I probably think of the Miltonic Sexy Satan, perhaps updated. Sometimes I go for the whole plantation suit with panama hat thing, othertimes I think of the sinister Italian in a sharp suit with sunglasses. However, when I think of people under his dark influence, I think of them as oafish, perhaps charming, but utterly vacuous. Bill Clinton comes to mind. I just imagine these folks being totally smitten with some slick, fast-talking Debbil: "Bill, if you sign on with the program, I will make you King! I will make you Emperor! I will make you President of the United States! I will give you the wimmins! I will give you the best book contracts and speaking engagements!"

Of course the fall of men is even darker when we think of them falling under the sway of a hideous, three headed semi-being, frozen in ice, eternally silent and practically paralyzed with fear and loathing, munching away absent-mindedly on Judas, Brutus and Cassius. It is absurd. On the other hand, selling one's soul to evil is a very dark and absurd thing to do, so when I really think about the matter, I move more to Dante's Statue of Evil.